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ParentsUncut Pod
This is a Podcast surrounding the adventure, struggle, beauty and intricacies of new parenthood. Hosted by three parents, totally 10 kids in together, they go through their mazes and phases of parenting styles, parenting norms, modern day parents, their trials and tribulations whilst keeping it raw and unfiltered. Thanking you for joining us on this journey and we hope we can bring some value to new parents, old parents and those thinking of becoming parents
ParentsUncut Pod
Navigating the Waves of Parenthood: Names, Relationships, and Guiding Youth | Episode 3 W/ Zo | Pt 1
What’s in a name? Well, when it comes to our little ones, everything from cultural significance to hope-fueled aspirations. Join me, our guest Lorenzo Bernardus Jr, and my co-hosts Jax and Johnny, as we unravel the tales behind our children’s monikers. What’s in a name? Well, when it comes to our little ones, everything from cultural significance to hope-fueled aspirations. Join us, our guest Lorenzo Bernardez Jr as we unravel the tales behind our children’s monikers. From Jax’s melodic choice of Cadence to Lorenzo's rock-inspired Hendrix and Lennox, we celebrate the creativity and sometimes contentious journey of naming our offspring. We don’t just stop at names; we delve into how the arrival of children can reshape relationships, challenge societal norms, and sometimes lead down the path of unexpected pregnancies, marriage, and even divorce.
Parenthood is rarely a solo act, and this episode isn't shy about the complexities of sharing the stage. Discover how we navigate the uncharted waters of new partners, co-parenting, and the times when family extends beyond those we’ve known from birth. We share firsthand the emotional whirlwind that hits when long-lost siblings emerge, transforming family dynamics and personal identities in ways one can hardly predict. The power of sincere apologies and the delicate timing of introducing children to new significant others is dissected, with an aim to foster a discussion on co-parenting without the drama.
Finally, we spotlight the pivotal role of mentorship as we venture into the trenches of high school guidance. Hear how we, alongside educators and mentors, strive to steer youth through the murky waters of socio-economic expectations, aiming to prepare them for the real world, one slice of pizza and heart-to-heart at a time. And for a touch of levity, we recount a quirky Hollywood Boulevard encounter before circling back to the heart of our discussions. Tune in for an episode that promises to resonate with fellow parents, mentors, and anyone who’s experienced the unpredictable yet fulfilling adventure that is guiding the next generation.
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Yeah, you shot something for yourself today.
Speaker 2:No, I'm just here for you guys today.
Speaker 1:Really. Oh, thank you, look at that, that's special.
Speaker 2:Come on, me and my brother.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I don't feel too special. It's about a mirror.
Speaker 1:Wasn't it darker in here last time? No, no, that was my spirit. That was your spirit. I like that you weren't all black. We matching. No.
Speaker 3:Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Parents Uncut, my two lovely guest hosts. Well, you call your coho, sorry, I'm like the way it shows my judge or something. Joss, I mean Jax, you know, I'm saying I'm handsome, contreras, real name, no gimmick, no what it is. And we got a. We got a special guest this week. So, please introduce yourself.
Speaker 2:I'm Lorenzo Bernardus Jr, who host of conversation with Zod Park, has known I'm happy to be here. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1:Thank you for coming oh absolutely Shout out to me.
Speaker 2:That's my brother.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 3:You know, I'm saying say pop out, we here. We didn't give him his proper just do Special.
Speaker 1:Thank you. Last episode, nice, nice, nice. The man behind the production, and I will show your face.
Speaker 3:The brain behind it all.
Speaker 1:This is his baby. You said not fine.
Speaker 3:Thank you for the opportunity, young man.
Speaker 2:And we spoke about this, so I knew about this months ago.
Speaker 6:So you know about this before we know about it? Yeah, for sure, for sure.
Speaker 2:We spoke about it months ago.
Speaker 6:Yeah, because I think we know about this a month ago.
Speaker 1:It all happened so fast, I knew less than anybody yeah it happened so fast. You know, I know I'm here from church and he's. He's always behind the cameras at church too. So then he hit me up and he's just like hey, have you ever thought about doing a podcast? And me and the girls it's like six of us. We're like a tight circle for years. We spoke about it before because the things that we speak about in the group chat are crazy. I'm sure any female group chat is just crazy.
Speaker 6:So it was always like if the group chat leaked. Yes, everybody, do all the same.
Speaker 1:So he gave me, he told me, the idea and I thought it was great, because as a parent we don't really have much platforms where we can relate to, in which they look like us, you know, where they keep it real, like how we want to keep it.
Speaker 1:So that was important and I said, yes, I know, I know who I want to be alongside with me. I said Jackie is my girl. She keeps it real. She's the more serious one, though, yes, and then Johnny, he has the personality for it. He is a dad, he has his girl just had another baby.
Speaker 3:I try to be you know.
Speaker 1:So he started late again. You know it's not late.
Speaker 3:It's always on time, man. It's exciting. It's a new experience. You about to have another one, aren't you?
Speaker 2:Let us know how many kids you got couple. I got a son named Hendrix. I got a second son that's going to be born in Hedina. How old? Is Hedrix, hedrix is three, three, three days, january 3rd.
Speaker 1:Oh Capricorn, oh baby.
Speaker 3:That's my dad's birthday, that's fine, yeah.
Speaker 1:January. My dad was January 4th. Wow, oh you know, the goats are Capricorn. We start the year and we end the year, so I say between Capricorn and Gemini. Oh, oh, what you read, june 11.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, okay I love to have a lot of connections, yeah.
Speaker 1:It's a vibe. Okay, so the new baby is going to be a boy.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Thank God, god bless you, bro I hope you have a epic name like Hendrix Lennox. Lennox oh that's my best friend.
Speaker 6:That's Kat's the baby's name, really.
Speaker 1:That is so cool.
Speaker 2:Lennox is an ex-brother.
Speaker 3:Yes, henny and Lenny.
Speaker 6:Oh yeah, when I was pregnant with Romeo.
Speaker 1:I wanted to name him Lenny Because I wanted to name that. Yes, I wanted to name him something that ended with a Y.
Speaker 3:I was joking.
Speaker 1:And then I got Romeo.
Speaker 3:No, it's because of Aventura you would name your son after that?
Speaker 1:No, that was the idea.
Speaker 6:Romeo. I wanted something that ended with a.
Speaker 3:Y.
Speaker 1:So it was Andy, it was well Anderson, and then Andy, would be the short you never thought. Johnny. No, I didn't think about Johnny.
Speaker 3:Damn.
Speaker 1:Okay, what else Robinson? And then call him like Robbie, his father's like nah, I'm not gonna.
Speaker 6:I don't like Robbie too much yeah.
Speaker 2:And then just Romeo came about.
Speaker 1:I'm like whatever.
Speaker 2:Robinson's a strong name, that is. I like Robbie.
Speaker 1:Well, it was going to be Robinson, for you know, Robinson Cano.
Speaker 3:Joe, you are Y. That is a straight Dominican show. What is this? Yeah, Anyway that was my celebrity crush back then. How you came up with Hendrix.
Speaker 2:Hendrix is more like a universal thing, like I saw it in a book. I saw a poster. It just like stuck, it just like fit.
Speaker 3:So we just went with it, and his mom agreed too, like yeah, all right, that's solid, see, yeah, that's dope.
Speaker 1:I love Hendrix. That's my dog. That's exactly what I'm thinking of, did you?
Speaker 3:guys have any issues naming your kids, like between the other parent.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so with me, with Katie, because my daughter, my little one, she's seven, her name is Cadence and I always knew I wanted to stick with the musical theme, because you know my name is Jasmine but everybody calls me Jaws. My oldest is Harmony and Cadence. You know it's a nice name, it's not common. I didn't like common names. And then you know Mean Girls, the movie that's one of my favorite movies. You know Lindsay Lohan. Her name was Katie on the show and I love that nickname. So he was just like oh, nobody knows how to say that Dominicans especially that they were in know how to pronounce Cadence.
Speaker 2:That was a problem. Dominicans play names. Yeah, like you get a bit of your father's and your mother's and oh yeah, that's my name. Ok, you see, he was like how do you?
Speaker 3:play your sister's name. I was like, well, it's a blend of my father's middle name and his wife, what's?
Speaker 1:her name again Amides.
Speaker 3:Amides, which is Emilio and Edis.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, that's as simple as you can put it. I guess, Well, I'm Jossamine in Spanish. Thanks for a minute. According to Amir, thanks for a minute. You know he's for my name wrong, but it's funny because you know I was telling Jackie in the car here. I was like my mom when she gets mad she wants to call one of us, she'll pronounce everybody's name. She'll be like everything Jajarajamin, do nana. So I'm like it's Jajamin.
Speaker 6:Jajamin, that's how we're going to With Paige.
Speaker 3:that was the struggle too, because her mom was like, like she liked Paige, we like the name, but Dominicans, they'll struggle with that and, believe it or not, not, everybody got it, because with Penelope they be pronouncing the N before the L's, like Belenope and like oh, this, I'm like yo it's Penelope, like you guys know the name. But then with Paige, for whatever reason, I mean, I just pronounced it by here, like I really spent, that's all.
Speaker 3:I do is just fucking around. They get tight anyway, so, but Paige has actually worked, like we didn't assume was going to work, but well that's simple, I think Paige is just one thing about it. It's like Paige. That's not a Spanish, even just the P. With the age.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they'll have the age. Yeah, exactly, yeah, she's Puerto Rican. So yeah, no, my Latino thing.
Speaker 6:I have four, my oldest, ruben, named after his father. And then, yeah, devon was like divine.
Speaker 3:That's cute.
Speaker 6:Yeah, I was actually he's Devon.
Speaker 1:I was yeah, Okay.
Speaker 6:So Devon he was, he was an easy one. And then Ami, why are you laughing?
Speaker 1:He's like no, there wasn't a denim. I'm old, but I remember.
Speaker 6:It's not a. It's not a Spanish name. No, it's not. And.
Speaker 1:Ami, you got it from Miami Inc.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, ami James.
Speaker 2:You know, that show he's a tattoo artist.
Speaker 6:I was in love with him From Miami. Yeah, and I almost named him Ami James, but his name is.
Speaker 1:Ami, that would have been nice. No, not my name, though.
Speaker 6:Gray.
Speaker 1:Oh, okay.
Speaker 6:Like Christian Gray, he was a gray baby, oh you know, the yes and then the little one I didn't name him. His father named him because I was like I'm done.
Speaker 5:I have four boys. He has a cool name too. That's why you got four boys, she's still out there. I'm not sure if it's a different country.
Speaker 6:I'd be a queen, but not here.
Speaker 3:Over here. You a slave to the system, Damn so my little one, his name is Maddox.
Speaker 2:Maddox, so I can yeah.
Speaker 6:Maddox. And then I mean I was just like, yeah, sure, whatever you want to name him, I was done.
Speaker 1:I was. You know she wanted a girl. She was so mad at her gender reveal.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I saw the video.
Speaker 4:I cried for three days. She didn't talk to anybody. The group chat she was silent.
Speaker 3:I went to sleep.
Speaker 1:I found out.
Speaker 3:Penelope read it and she said consistent with FEMO. And I remember just there.
Speaker 1:A FEMO.
Speaker 3:A what they didn't get that. First I was like female and they were like, yeah, her mom makes static. And I was just like nah, there's video footage of it. I'm like nah.
Speaker 6:That was me, that was me.
Speaker 3:Like I put it in work I waited seven years.
Speaker 6:The only one that was happy was Mike. He was running like back and forth. He's like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3:Because you got the girl already.
Speaker 6:No, yeah, he does. Everybody was at the table, my kids, everybody. They were like damn.
Speaker 1:He sent me the video. Mike sent me the video. She didn't want to talk to us. I was so pissed.
Speaker 6:I sat in the basement stairs, hysterical crying, and he was like you make me feel like you don't want my kid.
Speaker 2:And I was like I don't I wanted a girl, so your other boys wanted a girl as well they did, because they're tired of each other.
Speaker 6:They're like when he's something new in here, but they love him. He's actually. He's great, he's a cool kid, he's a little bully.
Speaker 3:Don't be confused. He'll be like oh, you say that type of stuff, yo, your feelings. Your feelings at that moment, like I literally went, took a nap, so much so she came into the room she was like yo, don't worry about it. I'm like, nah, I'm worried about it. This was not the plan. Like I'm, I'm all upset. I laid there and I'm like God, what did I do wrong?
Speaker 1:Like I did. But you said you planned for a boy, right? And then still. Can you explain that so?
Speaker 3:there's no explanation, it just that's how the shit works. That's why I was like so. I was so confused so I was like you know what, man? And now it's great, it's the best feeling.
Speaker 2:But you plan to have a baby, in hopes to have a boy.
Speaker 3:Or it wasn't like an arrangement. Yeah, it was. I can't really speak too much on it, but it was. That's why we got that and that's why, when it did happen, it was even more of a shock. It was like nah, this ain't, this ain't.
Speaker 2:That means, you got girl balls yeah apparently that's true. Yo.
Speaker 1:Blame the dude.
Speaker 3:Girl balls.
Speaker 4:That's a new one. Let's, let's, let's hashtag that Girl balls.
Speaker 3:Girl. Oh, you know what that reminds me of? You ever seen the movie? That's probably too vulgar, but it's funny. So I don't know if anything meet something. The Falkers no, they will make you believe they were a family. Like to cross the border. Is Jennifer Aniston, emma Roberts, like they're doing all this stuff? And then they, whatever they get to the border. And you know a little Puerto Rican dude that's in all the movies for he's Wednesday's dad.
Speaker 6:Now oh, the big, the big head guy.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I think he's from the Bronx right.
Speaker 1:He's from the Bronx to him.
Speaker 3:So he's the cop, whatever he he. He stops them and he's like they have like meet the millers. There you go and they have all this cocaine in the truck and he's like, oh, you know, I'll let you guys go, but you gotta do me a favor. And so then the driver Sadekis he looks at Jennifer Aniston like you gotta take one for the team and she's like I don't think so. The guy goes no, no, no. I like he likes men.
Speaker 3:And she goes you gotta take one for the team. So he goes out with the young boy that was supposed to be his son and he's like listen, bro, it's okay, Just do it for us. Make believe it's a girl's dick. So that's why I remember that sign.
Speaker 1:The same Wait, wait, wait make believe it's a girl's dick Wow. Okay, I'm gonna go on my favorite lines in the movie history ever.
Speaker 3:I'm sorry we might have to edit out because it's a little too vulgar, but it's a good one. Alrighty, and it happened, though, just so everybody knows.
Speaker 6:Now I want to see the movie.
Speaker 3:You got to. It's funny, it's good, it's old too, though.
Speaker 1:Well, I feel like when men want boys more, that's when they get hit with the girls. Because when I was pregnant with my oldest Harmony, her dad wanted a girl, a boy, he wanted a boy. He was so mad when he found out that it was a girl. He really called me. We wasn't together and he was just like I'm so mad that you're having my baby, I'm so mad that it's a girl. And I was like so I was young, I was 20. And we weren't together because we broke up, because I was pregnant. He didn't want a kid. So then, after I had her, it was all like it all changed. That was his baby. So this day they've been tight Like their bond has never been they've always been inseparable.
Speaker 2:It's just like him. I know this is, but I don't know. I don't know why men do that Like you. Know what she was doing, bro. You know what I mean. He was having fun shooting up the club. Yeah, I mean doing your thing.
Speaker 6:Playing stupid games.
Speaker 2:And now we're going to pump it. Yeah, come on.
Speaker 1:And it's not like if it was like a one-night stand, we were in a relationship. Right. We were together four years at that point when I got pregnant you know how was he when that happened? He was older, it was like a little O'Kelly situation.
Speaker 3:Oh shit, you know. Oh, so you were, you were 16?.
Speaker 1:I was 16 when I got with him.
Speaker 2:He was older and he talked about this all the time.
Speaker 1:Don't tell me it was outside of your high school. Definitely. Oh man, you know, I know way too much, much older.
Speaker 2:Right he had a car, a little cab, exactly, he was a musician.
Speaker 1:He had you know the tattoos and the little gold chain. He was Filipino, though, right, but he had some soul. He was he had some soul to him. He was a Power and Be producer, you know, and I was just like, oh my God, this is great. He had his own crib. Love, r&b. I fell in love. I'm really a son, 16 years old. That was my first love.
Speaker 2:So now he's stuffing in dumplings and he get upset that you pregnant.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's what happened. So we were broke Straight foot, straight to the point. We were broken up and then, when I had her, I guess he realized, you know, he wanted to be a part Right, and he stepped in and then we got married three years later. I was still young, I was 23 when I got married. So we just felt like we had to get married, especially him from, like, the Philippine Catholic not Christian Catholic religious background. Everybody's like, oh, you have a kid, you got to get married. So we got married.
Speaker 1:But we were too young. I mean, I was, I was 23. He was 30 when we got married. And then we got divorced two years later Because I wasn't, I didn't know how to be a wife at 23 years old, but I was a mom, you know, and I was working hard to pay the rent. He was working, we didn't see each other, but when we did, you know, we started arguing and it became toxic and that's when we knew we had to end it. But we never ended anything on bad terms, you know. We got divorced. He always took my daughter every weekend, never had any issue with it, paid child support.
Speaker 2:So I can't speak bad about him, but why was he even child support though?
Speaker 1:When you get to, when you get divorced, everything is through the court.
Speaker 2:You know, that's the lesson. At least he stepped up. You know what I'm saying? No, funny shit.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I think that's common though.
Speaker 3:Like I've seen a lot, I've seen it happen a lot. I always wonder, though like there's no offense to him, it's like how does that feel? Because I'm I'm sure at that moment, like you said, they don't want anything to do with it, isn't that? But then when the baby comes and you're just like like I can never picture that Right, like I think that would be like a constant guilt in my head Like damn, I didn't want you at first.
Speaker 2:Like you, you feel like he owes her compensation someday. I think they had it already. I'm sure they have.
Speaker 1:Even with me. Like he apologized to me for the things that we went through in our relationship and I wasn't expecting it because I was kind of over it at that point I didn't help with any grudges against him. But when we did get divorced and I started seeing you know my second kid's father he did apologize to me for everything he put me through.
Speaker 6:That's a plod, yeah, for real, because Shout out to them, shout out to them.
Speaker 2:That happens, but like you, how do you? How do you act? Like not divorce yet, but you're going to be divorced Like? What are you acting like at that time period?
Speaker 1:It happened really fast. So when we separated, I left, I went to live with my parents and I took my daughter and of course he tried to make things work during that time because he really didn't want to accept that His family was, you know, done. But we didn't have any problems until I started seeing my second kid's father, where he was just like. I just don't want him to act like he's our father. You know I don't want no other man trying to play my part and I assured him like that wasn't gonna happen.
Speaker 2:Right you know, so when is it, when is it an appropriate time um to introduce your, your new partner, to your child?
Speaker 1:whoo, that's a tough one because I'm in the dating scene right now and, honestly, I don't even think anything before six months, where it's serious.
Speaker 3:Sorry, my rule is a year, yeah, yeah, like you want. When we had split up, that was kind of my thing I said yo, look, I know you got somebody cool, do your thing. I don't want that person around my daughter, at least until a year, so that you know I'm gonna be with this person, right, like that was my biggest thing, and some people may think that's exaggerated, but yo, it takes about a year to really get to know somebody, right, those first three, four, six months, everything is jolly. First of all, let's say the man. The man is on his best behavior, everything is cool. He's romantic. I'm gonna take you places, do all this stuff.
Speaker 3:But you still don't know if that's his character and a woman at first, the same shit that you you don't like, you'll let slide because you're like, it's alright, I could fix that. Like, women have this, this natural thing in them, but it's like you know, that's just a blemish for now. Let me put my hands in there and watch. This will be different by a year. That's just how to win the for the most part, not saying it always works that way, but it really is out the window because now you know like nah, you know this dude, is not it like he doesn't do this, he doesn't do that, and then he's like, well, you know what? She Acted this way, now she's acting this way. So to me it was a year like a year solid.
Speaker 1:It's easier for you, for the dad stone, because with the moms we have the kids with us at all times. So it's harder, you know you may have, we may have to adjust and bring them around. That's why, like with the six month mark, because we really don't have free time- you know, I had all the weekends To me.
Speaker 3:That was great. That was way too. I had to be every single weekend, without fail.
Speaker 1:That was my first daughter, my relationship with her father, but now with the second kid's father, he doesn't take them. So if he's gonna see them, he comes to my house to see them. So I really don't have no like free time, and when I do like, if I have a kid free night, don't make me waste it. Right you know, like on the rare occasions when he does take them, it's true Once every food, who knows? Yeah, don't waste my kid Free night.
Speaker 2:There's one signaling ever tag them on with the other one.
Speaker 1:I know, I mean there. They're there four years apart, so they have their moments. You know, um, sometimes they love each other and then the next day he each other, and then sometimes they're like team mom and then sometimes Is team dad and I'm like I'm the ones here all the time doing everything, you know, like you better love me more, but they don't pick.
Speaker 6:They don't pick sides, you know that's the one thing I don't do is with my ex-husband.
Speaker 6:I don't like I never talk bad about him, no matter how I feel, no matter how our relationship is, no matter how absent he is. Yeah, I don't talk about him, but I let them do it on their own. Like you're gonna figure that out on your own. They I've always like In my house. Now, every time, my man will be like, oh, but he's not, and he's and I would be like we're cutting that conversation. You're not gonna talk about their dad in front of them. You're not gonna do that, because they will find out when they're good and ready and they have there's times now that they're like I ain't going over there. My, my kids chose Not to go with their dad as of, I want to say, two years ago, two years ago. They don't, he doesn't come pick them up and he comes around once a month.
Speaker 3:That's like my mom never talked bad about my sister brothers. Dad never talked bad about my dad. And and my sister called her dad in alive when she was like 13 because she was there and he was telling my grandmother some other story. My sister was like like she used to get mad at my mom for divorcing their dad, like, oh, how can you do that? Yada, yada, yada. When she heard that, everything changed with me, I remember I never wanted to go.
Speaker 3:My dad, I had like this, this instinct in me, like I don't want to be about him, his wife. They split when I was four and it just always in a sit well with me and my mom would be like no, like you have to hang out with your dad because her father died when she was three, right, so she always appreciated, like, yo, even though these guys don't put a diamond, they barely visit those of your dad's, enjoy it. It was me on a trip when I was 22 22, yeah, I was 22 my pops and his wife slipped up Numbers I'm good with numbers, right, so I hear the Italian story. She's like yo, it's 20 years that we've been together. And he's like, yeah, it's true. And I was like actually he's 18 because you got my father's and my mother split when I was four and then my uncle jumped in Like yeah yeah, he's right, he's right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, it was. It was 88 and right there I was just like boom, boom, puzzling shit. I have my little sister with me, his daughter, and she looked at me like funny cuz she, she felt my energy and I was like you know, it's my baby sister, I'm gonna confuse it with nothing. That time, if I was 22, she was 12 and I remember I came back to New York because we were in Kentucky at the time and I tell my mom like yo, why you never told me the truth. She said truth about what she's like.
Speaker 3:You know, I think she was like I said that at the end of the day he thought a bad person, he made his decision and the truth comes out. Whether it's for me or whether it's through thing, I'd rather not be me and she's like don't, hold that it still to this day. She's like don't, they're like best friends, they're like they always were cool. That's why it was easy for me the transition when I had to leave as well, cuz like I'm used to that right, like it was like no beef.
Speaker 2:Jax, I have a question when does the level of maturity come from? To not bad mouth, you're your ex husband. For the people out there, I will say it's the.
Speaker 6:I Don't like the drama. I Don't like the drama.
Speaker 3:I.
Speaker 6:Don't. She's over it already. I'm over that.
Speaker 6:Oh, you're over here, no, yeah, I've, never I've. I don't like the feeling that that gives me. Yeah, I don't like to be in the middle of it. I'm not, I, I give, I give zero baby mama drama. I don't accept baby mama drama. I don't ever want to. Yo, this is your girl, cool, let's meet. I want to be cool with her because at some point she is gonna take care of my kids, right, Cool, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, love each other. Great, I love you too. We all gonna be a happy family because when I want to go out, y'all gonna take care of my kids. But but still, yeah, right, but it's, it's that. And even so, like my man, now his ex-wife, love her, love her. We are closer than they will ever be. Me and her Two peas in a pot.
Speaker 6:Love her, I don't I don't need that drama in my life. We are co-parenting the same children. Why do we? It's over. There needs to be zero drama, because if you're not on the same page in your kids eyes, they're gonna be super confused. Oh, but mom said this, but that said that. Oh Well, who do I feel like I want to listen to? If you're not on the same page In front of them and you're not on a united front in front of them, they're gonna have, they're gonna pick and choose. That's when kids start getting Manipulative. Why? No? I can get my mom to do this, because I'm gonna tell her that my dad did this, you know? No, we're all on the same page. We're all cool. Let's all fact, though. Yeah, let's all raise these kids on the same ideas and the same ideals, because if we're not gonna be on the same page, our kids are gonna grow up Confused. There's too many confused kids out there. Right.
Speaker 6:It's not fair Because now, now I'm gonna have somebody else, a woman, later on Raising one of my kids because I didn't do a good job, or their parent, their father, didn't do a good job, right? No, we were on the same page the whole time. They make their own ideas when they get older. Because I can't, I can't shield them from that. But growing up and teaching them, let's do this together. I don't want the drama I hate. I hate that baby Mama. Drama's not for me.
Speaker 1:It comes with maturity. So you know, because we had a different place right now, then when we were younger, and dealing with, but even so, I feel like even younger, like we're Ruben, right, my oldest, his father, he had a girlfriend.
Speaker 6:When you know me and him split and he had a girlfriend and I was like, alright, I said the same thing. You know, I was with my ex-husband at the time and I was like, you know, I think you guys should meet, I think I should meet your girlfriend. She was a bitch, so I was but, I, did my part no no, he's not with her.
Speaker 6:Thank God he's. He's married to a wonderful woman. She's great and she's even that relationship Okay, because at the end of the day, this is our son. So if we're not all on the same page, my son is gonna see that and he's gonna be really confused. My son came. My son is in the army. He, when he graduated from basic, training Me, his father, my man and his father's wife were together at his ceremony. At everything, we did everything together and it was great to have my son see that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was beautiful. You're seeing the pictures like we were all together that he had and you. Thank you yeah.
Speaker 6:Thank you for you. Know you, my son has two amazing fathers. My son has two amazing mothers.
Speaker 3:I think that matters too, because especially it's always like I'm raising girls right, so a lot, of, a lot more that falls upon their mom, but the food is here. Oh, you're gonna interrupt my super duper. Love you keep this in there. Keep this in there, just so people know the disrespect.
Speaker 1:You don't want to get angry.
Speaker 6:Yes, 4547.
Speaker 3:What I was saying was that, though, in terms of when they need the father there, like you need a man, I didn't have a man raising me by my sister. My mother raised me, so it's like, do you like I think about you, do you feel like extra pressure being that you, I got a man? Like I'm raising a man, no matter what?
Speaker 2:it's no pressure. My father was a true king for me.
Speaker 2:So, I lost my dad when I was 22. Damn, but I was very, very active in my life. I grew up in a two-parent home. You could see the man I am. You know he, his spirit, everything he's, his legacy, lives through me. So I'm not worried, you know me. I just I think the thing for me is to um be present. You know like I'm so like in the future and all of these things, but I just got to see it now and be him where he is right now, but hopefully.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I mean listen. As a parent, though, it's inevitable to be thinking about the future, right Cause you're always like y'all, I gotta set them up, I gotta make sure this is correct, I gotta make sure this is right. And I've taken now with my newer baby. I'm kind of looking at the same thing, like them. I remember these moments with Penelope. Thank God I did cherish them right, like I never let go of those moments. So now I look at it on my damn. It's so difficult, cause now I got a lot more stuff going on in my life, to stay present when you're in that present moment, like you do a show, like you got certain things going on, developing stuff for their future. So at the same time that balancing act, you got a new one coming. You know what I'm saying. So it's a little different, but I know you got it.
Speaker 2:No, I think it's just. It's all you know, balance, you know just making the time for things like you know, I'm kind of gonna take a break for a little bit, you know, and do other shows and not really be on minds and do platforms like these. So you know, I'm excited for, I'm ready for it. Yeah. And God don't give you no, you can't handle it Absolutely.
Speaker 6:Amen. Yeah, the Teedun gave us a lot of stuff.
Speaker 5:My father was the main father figure in my son's life.
Speaker 1:Right, because he went to every game. He was at the practices. He, you know my mom would take care of my son.
Speaker 3:So he would be there every day with my parents.
Speaker 1:So when my father passed away in 2019, it was really hard on my son, you know, because that was the father figure in his life. Like his father is present. I'm not gonna say his father is not present, but he's not as present as he can be, you know.
Speaker 3:You lived with your dad when.
Speaker 1:No, I was, but I worked around the corner. So my parents used to take care of the kids after school Perfect, so they were with my parents every day. And then when my father passed away, it affected my son a lot, you know. He developed anxiety. He was nine when my father died. He still deals with it now. So I wish his father would be more present. And, you know, hopefully that can happen before my son grows up and he's just like I'm used to it, you know, cause my son is 12 now. He just turned 12. He's gonna be a teenager next year Once they end the teens, cause I have a 19 year old. They don't wanna know about you, they all about their friends, you know so, and that's why I try hard to make sure my son has everything he needs. You know boys are closer to their moms and you know my son, he can be a little testy, like he's the one who tests me, you know.
Speaker 6:Let me ask you a question how do you think you're gonna be in that situation, Cause boys are extremely close to the mom. The dynamic is gonna change a little bit because you have a little girl right now right? No, you know, you have a boy that's right, oh, sorry so you had a boy and a girl.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, so no matter what you got?
Speaker 6:two girls and you have the two boys.
Speaker 1:No, I have two girls. Yeah, I have two girls.
Speaker 6:No, but he has two boys and he has two girls.
Speaker 3:This woman's more attached to the mom, though. Whereas Penelope everything was about me, Like no matter what what was going on, Paige is more straight up mommy's girl, Like she'll be in my arms and if she comes she goes. I wasn't used to that, so it kinda hurts my feelings a little, bang, a lot.
Speaker 6:So what's your dynamic with your way of doing this?
Speaker 2:I'm really close, like very, very close. We play, we sing, we dance. I put on like this little Jamaican voice when I'm scoffing in the bath. I saw the video you posted, so with that like, I can't, even when his mother taking him to the bath, she's like, he's like, yo like what's up.
Speaker 3:You gotta see him scrub your body, bring in the pot to her. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:What are we doing? But I'm not worried about it. So, unlike your kids, I wasn't close to my mother. You know my mother was dealing like. She was very nurturing in her own ways. You know we were never without. It wasn't like we was uncapped. You know we're always well fed. You know always the Husky kids, you know so she did everything, but emotionally is where she was unavailable and it wasn't until my dad passed away that I knew that I wasn't close with my mother. You know so I was always had my dad. My dad was the one that you could talk to, get advice from. You know, talk game, just shoot the shit with. And my mom was kind of like I just kind of stood out way, like if I didn't have to talk to her I wouldn't.
Speaker 1:You know that's what I would do. So you feel like, with your mom being not showing much emotion, it makes you want to show more to your kids.
Speaker 2:Now, yeah, for sure, I mean, and it kind of happens naturally. I think financially I'm in a different situation. You know, I work a job. I want to, not that I have to, you know. So we're just in two different spaces. You know, she was kind of always in sub, like a lot of our parents in survival mode, like you know.
Speaker 2:So you didn't really get to like think about, are you existing or are you living. You know what I mean. So I've had a great life, you know, regardless of growing up in the hood. You know I've went to boarding school, I've been to college. I played professional baseball in Europe, like.
Speaker 2:I live in Europe, so I've had a great life, you know, despite everything you know. So I think everything boils down to mindset and what you choose to pay attention to. And it hurts, you know, because you know, obviously every boy wants to be attached to his mother, you know, but she just, it's just not like that for us. How many siblings you got? I got to start calling him new brother, but I got seven siblings, right, but I grew up with four of them. So I grew up knowing there was five, including myself. Yeah, right, but when my father passed away, there was two of us, right, yeah, and crazy, one of them died in the cartel.
Speaker 2:Like, yeah, he was playing Because my family from Honduras, so he was whatever he was doing in the cartel. He ain't making it right. He was 18 when he passed away. And then my other brother he live in Texas now. He moved here in like 2016 or something like that and he's a spitting nivans in my dad. He's like six, seven, even 12 of them.
Speaker 2:Wow and so what happened was my dad just didn't tell a story straight. So my dad did have, you know, two kids before he got married, right, but what happened was, I'd like to say, you two of my baby mothers were there and I had two with each of you, so you kept one and I kept one, so one came with me to the States. Wow, and one stood back there and you kept one, and I kept one, that's crazy.
Speaker 2:So that's the missing part that I never knew, you know, so I learned that after he passed away.
Speaker 1:Yeah, Did your siblings have resentment towards the other?
Speaker 2:There was no point. You know what I mean. Like he ain't do nothing. You feel me Like he's a grown man. It wasn't like he's older than me, so it wasn't like he was coming here asking or he was just. I felt bad because I had to tell him, like he was looking for my dad Damn, I'm like you're a guy, bro. So it was nothing but grace and empathy for him, because what he was looking for wasn't him. Oh, that's sad.
Speaker 3:That for me. It's funny because I used to call him my new sister too.
Speaker 2:Right, right, right.
Speaker 3:I've been doing this for two years, found me on Twitter when I was 20 and she was 25. It was like the craziest thing and she's like, oh, is this your dad's name? But she said his full name. So when she said his full name, I was like yo, you, his illegitimate child. Like literally that's what I wrote back to him and she was like yeah, and I was like man fuck it, wait, are you serious?
Speaker 3:Yeah, my sister Kelly, my younger sister, she lives uptown, and I was like so excited, though, and I remember telling my older sister, who's not his daughter, but to her my father was like a savior, because their dad used to abuse my mom like he was just a fucking nut bag, and so when my pops took the picture, her dad even though they were divorced he would always bother my mom, their dad.
Speaker 3:So when my father came through, you know, everything was cool, but she forgets, like my sister's very naive my older sister, he was in the Marengae band in the 80s, so you all over South America doing your thing here and there, and apparently he got one of his classmates from like his vocal lessons, pregnant at the time, and so she had told him at that time like yo, you either stay with me or you never see this kid. And he was like, nah, like I got a child, like I want to be in my kid's life too, though, but I'm not going to be with you, and she disappeared on him. So I guess Kelly was always searching, always searching, and by the time she was 10, she realized, like yo, my last name contrarious, but my siblings all got a different last name. And then her mom told her the truth, or whatever Fast forward. She found me on Twitter.
Speaker 1:Wait, how old was she when she found you 25. She was 25, I was 28.
Speaker 3:Like, literally through Twitter. I remember it was like Super Bowl, sunday, february 5th 2012. And I was like yo, this is crazy. I'll get back to my sister's crib and I'm like yo, Heidi, who does this look like? Cause, she's a spinning image of my dad. That's like the wildest shit. And he's like I don't know some random Puerto Rican chick. And I said no, look at her. Who does she look like? She's like I don't know who is this. I was like she looks like my dad, doesn't she? She's like so. And I was like yo, this is his daughter. She's like he wouldn't do that. There's no way he did that.
Speaker 2:He's having too much manninga out there. Yeah, he was having a good time. I'm not having too, much fun.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and wild thing is talking about how preserving people sit Like. When I tell my mom that same day she's like, oh my God, this is gonna ruin his marriage. I'll see. Are you nuts? He was with you when this child was born. She's like, yeah, but who cares? Like his wife now is gonna be like he was hiding this child all these years. I remember when I told him like I called him up, I sent him a picture first and he was just like he writes back who's this? And I was like that's your daughter. He was like what, kelly, the fuck you know? Her name.
Speaker 6:Like what the hell is this? I was like in the closet.
Speaker 3:I'm gonna boost us right now. He's like yeah, I've been looking for her for years. Edie Senai, his wife and her have been looking for her and I was like what?
Speaker 2:the fuck. Nobody told her, so he was in the closet.
Speaker 3:So, they all know. Well, they knew that she existed, Him and his wife. And when my sister was born, which was 10 years, so seven years after that they finally gave up because they couldn't find her anywhere, Like the lady disappeared or stuff. And then my sister cooperated. The story she's like yo, my mom is. You know what I'm saying. She's like a dark person, so she would definitely make somebody suffer in their mind by taking their kid away.
Speaker 3:So, but I remember Kelly and I met. I was like yo, let's meet up. We met up some kind of diner, some shit in the city. Yeah, as soon as she walked in the room, remember, I was like in tears and I'm like hugging her and like mad excited. And we're like yo. We spent literally like eight hours in that diner just chopping it up, talking to each other back and forth and we're like it's so creepy because we're like the same person. Like my dark humor, my weird way, you guys know my weird way. She got all that shit. So it was dope. It was dope, but it was definitely an experience, cause it was like a TV show type thing, right, and she never held resentment towards me. That was great, like he's in her life now.
Speaker 2:So good, what's crazy about the podcast and like the notoriety and a little bit of fame is that people do weird things. So like I talk about my dad a lot sometimes and this lady came out and was like yo, like I knew your father, so me like entertaining, like word, like that's crazy, like we are met. She's like, yeah, we met in Honduras, but you know, we had I was in New York and I lived in Atlanta and she's like yo, I got a daughter that looked just like you.
Speaker 1:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:So I'm like that's like we, only three minutes into this conversation, like that's a little forward, yeah. So then she deletes, deletes, retracts and she's like, oh sorry, that was a little forward and all that stuff. I mean, I get it, my dad was outside, but that's a lot to say.
Speaker 1:Like you, know, so that was bad.
Speaker 2:And around that time it was like Jim Jones interviews this dad, like I had the internet on fire and then for that to happen, it was mad, weird. It felt like a cooperate.
Speaker 3:Like she's trying to get in there in the mix.
Speaker 2:You know, see what his son is doing Like you see, his son, you know, got a little, you know platform or whatever. It was just hella weird. I've been very young.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that's what we got to expect. Yeah, I'm not going to jump off.
Speaker 2:Yeah, Now for real. You're going to see little weird things going to happen.
Speaker 1:Johnny got his first troll today, I heard.
Speaker 3:No funny, I didn't know man Like on TikTok.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that was great. That's what's going to happen.
Speaker 2:Tons of guys going to come, especially y'all going to trigger a lot of parents. You know what I'm saying and I'm sure we have been. Oh yeah, sure we did yeah.
Speaker 6:So she actually we got to unfollow oh yeah, already we got to unfollow. That's what she's going to come, and I was like it's okay, we got 150 more, so it's fine.
Speaker 1:What triggered her?
Speaker 6:Oh, she got triggered because of the whole her mom serving her dad. Right. And it's a trigger. And I understand where the trigger comes from, because right now, or depending on the way that you've been brought up, you're like I'm serving no man he got to earn that, or I'm just not doing it Right. That goes back to sensitive times.
Speaker 2:Most girls can't cook, though you eat chicken, chicken and fries. Damn, come on.
Speaker 6:No, she made lasagna the other day.
Speaker 2:No you see my post.
Speaker 6:My lasagna was delicious.
Speaker 2:Yes, I got to try it.
Speaker 6:No, I got you next time. You got to bring a little mini tray, so we can have a little bit.
Speaker 3:It was like though I was like I'm not making no gluten free.
Speaker 1:I'm not making no gluten free, nothing I tried.
Speaker 2:No, but I think it's healthy for the world to see like wholesome parent content. You know like I think this is really going to is really innovative. It's going to change a lot of perspectives Even today. What you said today, when this comes out with having healthy co-parenting and not having that intimacy like people need to see that we can't always see the baby mother and the McDonald's, you know what I mean.
Speaker 6:That was crazy. I just like I would not. I always think about things and I'm like I don't want to be the crazy one, right, I don't want to look crazy, I want to. I'm going to let somebody else do that. It is selfish.
Speaker 3:Yo, you got to think about the kids it's all about. That's why I thank God I was raised the way I was raised, right, because it does mess with their development and, like you said, they don't know. You couldn't hide anything from me, like it was always an intuitive feeling. And I love my father's wife. Yo, she's dope, dope love of the death. She heard my mom are best friends. When my father got locked up she was living with us, her and my baby sister. You know what I mean. So I didn't. I don't have animosity now because of it. In fact I understand life a little better now because of it.
Speaker 3:But to always bring that kind of like just bad energy to your kids, that's all it does at the end of the day. And it's hard. I'm not saying it's easy. It's not easy for everybody to just be like now let me just ignore it and not say anything to my kids. Sometimes you get angry man, especially like yo. My mom was a single mother of three. When you're stressed out, I'm surprised it didn't come out of her sometimes and she can't be blamed for that. Coming out. My mom, my dad, anybody. Yo, you see stuff going on and especially when it's your child's parent. You hold them to a different standard, regardless of how shitty they may be. You're my kid's parent, like half of my kid is you. Please step up to the plate. Please act accordingly.
Speaker 1:At least while you're around a kid, you know what I mean I wish my kid's father's girl would push him to take the kids more and step up, but they live together. They don't have kids together.
Speaker 3:But she don't have kids. No, she won't understand.
Speaker 1:But they live with each other. Now they have a new apartment, so it's like wouldn't you encourage him to pick up the kids?
Speaker 6:I feel like that's a very I feel like and I know I'm going to get shit for this. If you don't have kids, you do not understand the position of a parent, because you're not going to think kids first, right, it's oh, it's me first because she wants his attention, right, so she's not thinking kids first. I would never in my me as a single mom, when I was a single mom, I'm not dating nobody that doesn't have a kid. I'm sorry because you don't understand.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my kids first, and that's where I'm at now too, like with the dating. I don't think I could date anybody who doesn't have kids, just because they don't understand. Like, my time is limited, you know, and my kids are always going to come first, no matter what we have plans and something happens. I'm sorry, but we got to reschedule.
Speaker 3:They just brought up a memory. You know, I didn't know my father slipped up. He always slipped something. He just sucks at this shit, damn.
Speaker 3:He said one time because he went to like a Mets game. I was like 20 or 19 at the time and he was like, yeah, man, thank God for eighties, like if we're in for her, I would have forgotten to visit you. Sometimes he said it but not Shalali, not like in a bad way, because we were talking about, like my mom and I'll talk about eighties, how much I love her. He said, yeah, man, she used to always be like oh, you know, you're not going to go visit him this week. And he'd be like, oh, yeah, you know, I've been like two months, let me go.
Speaker 3:So that's the truth. It's like, and she wasn't a parent when she was telling him to visit me, which is odd, right, because it's like you just said. Unfortunately it's not. I'm not trying to knock nobody. I mean, I was an uncle first, so I do kind of know what it feels like to put a kid before you, but not like when you're a parent. Right, like, your mind ain't thinking of the time schedules, your mind is not thinking of yo. Let me let him live and be with his kids at this moment, because I know they need this. But if you have a kid and you know how your kid needs their dad or needs you, right, it's just like. It's like with anything in life If you've been through it, you just know it better. There's no way around it.
Speaker 2:Sometimes you could go through that with other people that actually are parents. You know, like some of my bros they co-parent, so it's like they have their free weekends. They have like we talk about two different. You know dynamics. You know my son was just born and he's like yo for four July. I'm like bro, like I'm in a crib, bro, like what do you think?
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I can't six months by that.
Speaker 2:That's such a such thing I'm like yo, bro, I have fun yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm a catcher in the back end, you know. So I feel like people have to kind of get their priorities together. You know, even even financially, like I know, some of us have more than others. But working at the high school, you see kids like they fly. I mean they got it all going on right, but then when, when it comes to college, I don't got it. So it's like as a parent you got to make sure priorities, you get them ready for that.
Speaker 2:You know this day to day being fly. It really is pointless, because now I'm helpless because you, because you don't got it, I mean so.
Speaker 3:I feel like what age?
Speaker 2:bracket you deal with. I'm in high school. Oh, high school, yeah, so you right there right, so I'm right there. So I'm, I'm seeing it from the, from the seniors to the freshmen's, and you know, you could see, like the, the dynamic of not having a father, like all of my kids, most of my kids, fathers in jail, they don't know they're father.
Speaker 6:But it's also where you have the high school right, because then the demographic changes and there's a different struggle in that area, and that's that is a huge part of why you probably should be a little bit more mature when you have a kid, and how you're raising your kid and what you're teaching your kid, you know. Yeah, we would love for them to be fly all day, every day, every day, wearing all of these name brands. However, you got to teach them that that's not real life. That is not real life. Like I tell my kids every day, my kid will walk around with a pair of Yeezys, but his freaking outfit is from Sheehan.
Speaker 1:Right Sheehan. Fine my god.
Speaker 3:Yeah yeah, you know, like I mean, it's also and I think that's we were talking about like society and the way we were programmed and our demographic, especially especially the inner cities Like we could be like oh, but you became a teacher, you became a counsel, you did this, and that you know it's a slim number. It's a slim number when you see how this shit is all set up. So when you see these kids going through what they go through they're taught, because sometimes their parents all know is that y'all fly. I'm in crazy debt, but I'm fly. So it's like my kid can't be going around some regular shit. Like, let me lay some up.
Speaker 3:You don't know any better and as, thank God, we came from the inner city, you know from East New York, but we found our way All right, thankfully, some of us didn't, a lot of us didn't. So, to what I'm trying to say as well, though, seeing that you took that position like that, for me that's dope bro, because I would be heartbroken. I don't, I would, I would just be like I, I'm a crier right, especially when it comes to like kids and the youth and I'm talking about even a 22 year old kid. To me I'm just like damn bro like no, it does.
Speaker 3:It deserved this, you know, and you do see it like.
Speaker 2:You see, with the product of, you know, a fatherless household looks like, you know, and even with the Department of Education, you know, it's full of single mothers too. You know what I mean. So it's all this feminine energy around these young boys, you know, and even, you know, in leadership it's like three men. You know what I mean. Like you know, the majority of the school is ran by women. Majority of the principals are women, you know. So it's tough. It's tough. So me being there, like the structure, the bigger dude environment, is changing. You know what. It's taking time because they're so used to, even when I approach them Let me highlight you over here they want to show, they want to talk in front of everybody and do all of that. I'm like bro, we don't do that. You know what. I mean.
Speaker 2:And now they know. Okay, I see why you want to highlight me over here. 101 and not, you know, do it in front of everybody and do all of these theatrics, because it's unnecessary. You, a man, I respect you as a man. I'm going to talk to you over here.
Speaker 1:Is that then? I used to it, you know?
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:How do you mentor them?
Speaker 2:Man. I just pour love into them every day. You know I'm probably one of the littlest deans in the city.
Speaker 1:I got my no, I see you be buying a pizza, so I got my celebrity friends from the podcast coming to the school.
Speaker 2:My partners were my nonprofit slices of excellence, but we trade with pork hearts and pizza, so every month we doing pizza parties. That's great. I'm pretending, that's amazing and this month we had cutting slices for Brooklyn.
Speaker 1:Yo, I got to try that pizza.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it was fire, so they bought a hundred boxes.
Speaker 1:Wow, let's talk.
Speaker 2:Wow, yeah. So we doing cool stuff, you know, and this hard talk to them, how engaged them like be like this is why I'm telling you I go to class being on time because I'm going to make sure the fun comes. You know what I mean. I'm just not here to hand out punishments and you know all of these other things. Call your parents. I'm trying to get you to see something and behind doing the right thing, something's going to come. That acknowledgement is going to come.
Speaker 6:They need to see that positive reassurance.
Speaker 2:So that good morning Be great. Today, you know, checking in with them, like my first week of school, I didn't really recommend anyone because I feel like if I don't know you and I'm talking to you, crazy, you're going to look like who is this?
Speaker 3:dude, yeah, I mean so I made sure I understood. You're on my life.
Speaker 2:I let them. They thought I was letting things slide, you know, but I had to let it slide for that moment to make it look like oh yeah, he's like he don't. He caught me smoking, vaping, whatever, and he ain't really saying that. Yeah, I had to know me, I had to build that before. So the next time I take you to class, stop doing this, stop doing that. It's going to come from a. We're building a relationship with each other, so relationships with children is super important.
Speaker 1:That's such a.
Speaker 6:German acting yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. I'm exactly like that. I mean, obviously with my kids, yes, but even at like at work. I've always been in a leadership position and that's how I always say, like other leaders, always like, oh, you can't be their friend and I'm like, I'm not trying to be their friend but, they won't work for you if they don't respect you. You have to get that respect and you get the respect from the kids. You know, by not being so, you know pointing that finger and you better not.
Speaker 6:And you better not you build that relationship with them, you build that trust with them, like it's great.
Speaker 2:Look, I don't understand that. You know, everybody has shitty days. You know, some days like everything is just going against you. So why don't I take that opportunity? I've lift you and I kick you out, you damn, and that's going to change the whole trajectory of day. Like, all right, you're kind of class, you hungry? Let me go get you a snack. What? Let me talk about what you want me to walk your class and go about today, you hear me? Instead of doing all of this and now making your day worse, you already frustrated, I can tell so like emotional intelligence is huge.
Speaker 2:You know what I mean. Read the room Like a few of the emotions like fill the energy. So I got to take this opportunity to build with you Now. I mean to meet you and you're at and we're going to make the best of this day, the rest of this day the best. You know what I mean. Let's not dwell in this moment. Let's try to move forward.
Speaker 3:You said it right, though it is a lot of emotional intelligence, because that's not I thought it's not taught, but really so you got to have it Like you can know it and study it, but you're like you said, that's your nature. Your nature is all right. Let me, let me, let me find out how we can connect Before I go and direct. Let me connect Right, because you have to, especially with children, teenagers. Come on, man to hood Like it's a wrap, and when we start talking crazy especially I don't have a father at home Another man comes to talk crazy to me. Automatically my guard is up.
Speaker 3:I went through that at work. I mean, when I first started working, had it out with one of my managers and I had to tell him straight up like yo, bro, I didn't grow up with a man yelling at me, I'm not your son. After work, when we clock out at six, we can go outside. We talk different. You're not going to talk to me as my manager, you're going to talk to me as a man and that's what things. But it's because of that he didn't know that approach Right. So I think it's very important to understand also where they're coming from. So by you doing that, not like slamming them first weekend. It's like, okay, maybe he's not like the rest of the deans.
Speaker 6:Child to the good deans out there.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 6:Word up because there's not a lot of them.
Speaker 1:Now you have to build that respect to the kids.
Speaker 2:No, for sure. I mean, these kids are exposed to so much. You know what I mean. So they, they, they. They got a lot going on, they seen a lot they doing a lot.
Speaker 3:It's coming fast at them.
Speaker 2:I'm saying it's past, the weed is the pills and the gummies.
Speaker 1:That's the scary part, you know and they you just the access, the access and the accesses.
Speaker 3:She's all there, so yeah.
Speaker 6:And then they especially like in in certain areas it's they got it at home already, it's already there.
Speaker 2:It's hard to tell a kid about coming to school smelling like we. He smokes with his mom, yeah.
Speaker 6:And that's a real thing, what do you do?
Speaker 6:And that's a real thing, and even like growing up, so I've always been the the one to. If you're going to do this, please do this with me. Not that I'm condoning this, but I want to make sure that you know how to. Like I need to watch you, like I'm scared for you to go out and your your, whatever it is your laced or whatever. And they've never, they've never took me up on the offer ever, ever, ever, ever. Thank you, jesus Cause. Even so, my 14 year old love me, like hey, you want a beer? He's like.
Speaker 3:Oh, that shit works.
Speaker 6:It does.
Speaker 3:My mom used to try to give me beers when I was like eight and I was like that's disgusting, I didn't really start drinking, drinking. So I was like 24, on my own accord, right Like I was just like I don't know Drinking that shit. Sometimes it might not work, but for me it worked. I think it does.
Speaker 6:Cause my, my 14 year old. He's like that's nasty my oldest, however well, he's an army song they throwing it back over there. Which?
Speaker 3:one which one got the mitigate blood.
Speaker 6:The 14 year old the other one he's, so his father's had ponderin as well, so yeah, so he's, a little man Gotcha.
Speaker 2:And then for the for your son, throwing it back in the army. That's definitely a pause right there, I got it.
Speaker 3:Sorry, I'm a little crazy, sorry, ruben. I let it slide. She's a woman, so I don't drink.
Speaker 6:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 6:I couldn't do that to my boy.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to say what else, but yes, ruben, right, yeah.
Speaker 6:We're not doing.
Speaker 2:Ruben like that.
Speaker 6:No. Ruben's not throwing it back. No, say that, yeah, wow, nobody paused me. No. I wasn't thinking like that, I wasn't even thinking, somebody got you. I mean thank you. Thank you so much for saving my son's life. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Brother Ruben.
Speaker 1:I got you, but he is living it up in Alaska. He's in Alaska, yeah, he is.
Speaker 6:He really is.
Speaker 2:He's going to you know I'm asking. He's having sex and igloos and shit.
Speaker 6:Igloos and shit Wow.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I don't even know, it might be too cold to have sex. No, it's just like minus 28 degrees, it's okay.
Speaker 6:You know you have to be giant cold and you just make a hole.
Speaker 1:Like that video on the street? What video on the street? She said it's on the video. I said this.
Speaker 3:Instagram post. All I missed it was the Marvin Game music right.
Speaker 1:Yeah, did you see it? It was on Instagram, it was trending, it was out of home.
Speaker 3:Yeah, getting it on under a trench coat on the Hollywood Boulevard.
Speaker 1:I thought it was New York.
Speaker 3:It was the Hollywood stars right there, girl.
Speaker 6:I didn't probably look at that. No, she was supposed to put on the two people.
Speaker 1:They're both facing the same direction, I know.
Speaker 3:It was kind of weird.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they were dancing.
Speaker 6:They were dancing.
Speaker 3:She was booty dancing.
Speaker 6:Somebody was throwing it back, wasn't me, wasn't my son.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Y'all want to eat? Yeah, yeah, go eat.
Speaker 6:I'm not even hungry now.
Speaker 1:Thank you for coming on. We're not done, we're not done.
Speaker 3:Go eat, and then we come back like we never left.
Speaker 6:All right, that's cool. It's cool editing, I guess.
Speaker 3:Unless you want to leave Me, not, I'm supposed to answer some questions. Yeah, we got to do the question All right.
Speaker 1:So don't excuse my question.
Speaker 3:This looks like we comfy, so we good. I don't want to let all your brain go in sideways. My brain is not.
Speaker 6:Thank you for thinking about us. Thank you for being here.