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ParentsUncut Pod
This is a Podcast surrounding the adventure, struggle, beauty and intricacies of new parenthood. Hosted by three parents, totally 10 kids in together, they go through their mazes and phases of parenting styles, parenting norms, modern day parents, their trials and tribulations whilst keeping it raw and unfiltered. Thanking you for joining us on this journey and we hope we can bring some value to new parents, old parents and those thinking of becoming parents
ParentsUncut Pod
Embracing Parenting, Aging, and the Tides of Mental Health | Episode 15
Have you ever chuckled at the chaos of parenting while secretly nursing a heart full of personal challenges? That's where our latest chat takes you. Our conversation dances around life's trials, from managing our kids' schoolyard tiffs with a dash of creativity to embracing the art of gratitude meditation. We don't just talk about it, we live it, from the peaceful cocoon of a retreat back to the whirlwind of daily routines, sharing the strategies that help us stay afloat in the real world.
Turning forty brings its own set of laugh lines and gray hairs, and we're here to share them all. Our belly laughs over dad bods and digestive discoveries are paired with moments of genuine connection, as we check in on each other's well-being and navigate the tender task of parenting through separation anxiety. We're serving you stories of how the post-COVID school landscape has us juggling thermometers and attendance policies, with a side of gaming nostalgia and the quirky charm of Minecraft misadventures.
Then, we venture into the deeper waters of societal reflections, from the profound impact of a public self-immolation to the delicate balance of mental health maintenance. Our lockdown tales are a mixtape of Amazon shopping binges, virtual house parties, and pandemic baby arrivals, all wrapped up with the realization that despite our upbringing, we can chart a course of affection and tenderness with our kids. And remember, the adventure doesn't end here—join our Patreon for more heart, humor, and the sheer unpredictability of life as we live it out loud.
Thank you for being here, thank you for your time and energy. We hope that we can ALL build this incredible community for parents by parents with parents.
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Bob, you are the most amazing person in the world 10 seconds is long.
Speaker 3:Robbers are so dumb Vaseline and gloves and just.
Speaker 1:Alright, we back.
Speaker 3:I'm trying not to faint.
Speaker 2:There was lube.
Speaker 3:I hope so.
Speaker 1:Welcome, Bizak Johnny boy.
Speaker 3:I am glad to be back. For those of you that were asking yes, I was temporarily in rehab. Um, I came out and I'm better now was it for your sexual addiction to milfs? It actually was milfs no, gilfs, gilfs, gilfs, grandma, yes, yes, I actually feel very awkward with a seven year old in place. I cannot make my typical jokes.
Speaker 1:Listen, I'm her mother. No, I'm her mother, so she's used to it.
Speaker 2:No, she knows all the things. I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm kidding she doesn't you know?
Speaker 1:she did it the other day, she said a little boy made fun of her on the bus tell him his mother stinks and no, that he told a crooked teeth girl. She said a little child boy in third grade. I can't say you know what I would normally say Correct, I got some media training.
Speaker 3:She would have been like it's better than your crooked crack mom.
Speaker 1:Wow. So then I said why don't you go like this? And she goes what that means? I was like you don't know what this means, and she's like no, I was like you don't know what this means, and she's like no, I was like it means. And then she's just like oh. So I said but if you go like this and if he says something, you could just tell the teacher you were scratching your face. Yeah, wow.
Speaker 2:Teaching how the tricks of the trade, yes.
Speaker 3:Or even if you were to say something mean back to him, you can always say you didn't. Like life is simple, like the teacher's. Like did you say no?
Speaker 1:why would I say that teacher I'm, that's mean I'm not a mean person yeah, well, she knows some of those means, so I'm a good girl you're, you're mean, yeah you want to say hi, real quick, come, pop your head in and go, like this the camera's right there, right there look, yeah, yay, that's my little one, katie the seven-year-old. My little angel, she's a little angel baby Katie, the seven-year-old, my little angel.
Speaker 2:She's a little angel baby and she does nothing wrong ever. The third is always the best she would never go like this and she would never lie. That's true.
Speaker 1:Only if I told her to Correct. All right, Johnny, how about our intro?
Speaker 3:Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Parents Uncut.
Speaker 2:I'm your host, the only host, with his two co-hosts. Handsome Contreras, jazzy's Joy, no, do over, fuck that Do over.
Speaker 3:They thought because I was gone, the show was theirs. It wasn't Yo Don, by the way. Amazing job. I was laying in bed, pause, watching you and I'm like bro honestly, you should just give my spot up. Yeah, wow, yo listen, maybe he said shout out to johnny. He said he did, he did. You tried to throw me under the bus. It was jackie that saved me. You were like johnny's uh something, and then jackie's like no, I think he would rather be here, oh I said you were having mental health day yeah, yeah, I was in rehab this is his mental health.
Speaker 1:He was not in rehab, no, but he did go on a retreat.
Speaker 3:Yes, I did. Oh my God, what an amazing retreat. I couldn't fully enjoy it. But this place called Mirrorball it's in Massachusetts. They got one in Sedona, I believe, and another one in Houston. I did the Massachusetts one. It was my 40th birthday gift from the girls.
Speaker 1:Very nice Happy birthday.
Speaker 3:He's 40 that was like a month, I know, but you know, we celebrate again. This is second chapter in life you're right, you're right. Fourth, fourth chapter no this is the second half yeah, because we die at 80.
Speaker 2:Right, because typically, no, I'm not gonna die at 80 hold on on average.
Speaker 3:On average, men live to 72, women live to 77 oh, so you've already done, yeah I've been doing my research.
Speaker 3:I was like 12 um you've been on your half your life yeah, so already at 36 I was gone, but this is technically, for you know, especially hispanics do live longer. Um, I think that number is average throughout, even child stillbirths and all that stuff. So that's why they get to those numbers. It has to be somewhere in the 80s if we're just doing adults, I believe, especially on this side of the world, because over here we got all the medicine and all that shit.
Speaker 2:I don't know, Jasmine. I heard your grandfather lived until he was 107.
Speaker 1:Yeah, in Puerto Rico, though Not over here, over here, over there, he was eating everything raw from the backyard.
Speaker 2:We need to do that, my great grandmother was 112.
Speaker 3:Wow, my father said, for like the last six years of her life, you were just talking to a cardboard damn, that's terrible.
Speaker 1:I don't want to live that old then that's horrible. How was this retreat? What did you do there?
Speaker 3:ah, gratitude. So there was a lot of different sessions. I think it's awesome. It's expensive, but anybody that can do it should do it. I think it was an excellent 40th birthday gift. It came at a tough time in my life so I didn't get to really enjoy it the way I would want to, cause I went there with like bad energy, but the moment you get there it's dope, because they really just pull you out of it. Like I got there, it was probably like check-in was at three o'clock, so I got that like at 1 30 um and the gentleman helped me out. He was like are you signed up for any classes? Yet I said no, I just got here. I kind of don't know what to do. He goes don't worry, you're signed up for three o'clock.
Speaker 1:Gratitude meditation wow, I was like oh, exactly what you needed.
Speaker 3:I guess I am yeah, yo that shit was wild. It was a great experience did you cry I cried like a baby girl yeah yeah, because I would.
Speaker 2:Yeah because I would just expect that.
Speaker 3:No, but I got into a weird like. The guy had to literally go like hey.
Speaker 1:Were you meditating when you broke down?
Speaker 3:Okay, so they put you into like a meditative state. They do these exercises where you're like looking this way with your eyes closed, for like a period of five in and out, five in and out. It does something to get your brain into like another wave. Didn't get your brain into like another wave, and then, like I had this gratitude moment and I was stuck in a memory. But I didn't realize I was stuck in a memory until they pulled me out of it and they said I was laughing and crying wow and he was like brother, that's gratitude.
Speaker 3:I was like what do you mean? What happened? It was like you were just laughing, crying hysterically. You got into a zone. I was like do you remember what you were like? It was like you were just laughing, crying hysterically. You got into a zone.
Speaker 1:I was like you're fine, do you remember what you were thinking about?
Speaker 3:Yes, it was a funny ass memory. It was years ago. There was like one night we were going to bed and then Reese goes to Penelope and I she's like, oh, I love you guys. And then Penelope and I just stayed mad shut and and then put on a video. I just stayed mad shut and she was like okay, but it was a funny moment Cause then after we realized like we didn't say anything, we just like thing and I got into that moment but I was stuck. So it was kind of weird Cause I was stuck and kind of like replaying it. So I'm like laughing and I guess I'm crying because everything else was like shitty and going on. So it was just dope. And then after that will, he's the one that. So I made a video after going to his thing because he was like um, you're a human being, not a human doing technically, when people struggle to get into a state of gratitude is because you're thinking what you should be grateful for instead of tapping in and going it.
Speaker 3:Hence why the meditative exercise was doing all those eye movements first, which gets you out of like cognitive state, right, so you're not more like into your subconscious or something like that. I haven't practiced it again. So I'm, I'm a dickhead, um, but I've been practicing, yo, it's just that was you know. It's funny, the day that I left was so depressing, right, because it's like I knew yo, when you get out of here, you're back to reality, right, and and reality is very different to deal with than being around a bunch of people with that energy is like everybody's just a weirdo meditating. You're in your own. Hey, how you doing. Oh, this is great on. You're eating. Well, they cook for you food is amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, they give you like a little knapsack to put your phone in to put it to sleep and has like a little wooden bed next to it.
Speaker 3:Um, so you leave it there, but you can have it, like you know, because they understand, I got a 10 month old Well, now 11 month old, you can have it, but I didn't have it on me. I would leave it in the room, go do whatever I had to do and then later on I'll go back to it. But when you're around that like that's why during Christmas time and stuff people are generally like happy, right, because everybody's energy, especially these kids, they're giving off all this exciting energy.
Speaker 2:It's not until January where it still starts to go, because other stuff forget everything that you know that they have, because you spent all your money in December and on January you're in debt yeah, and then you look at the credit cards like damn, I them credit cards like damn, I don't think I should have gotten Katie that gift.
Speaker 1:I'm not gracious now.
Speaker 3:I'm kidding, you should get every gift you deserve.
Speaker 2:She will Look at her See that face.
Speaker 3:I heard you got good grades and all that good stuff.
Speaker 2:Why are you being so happy?
Speaker 3:Because I don't like when kids are happy. Be a little bit sad for me, come on.
Speaker 1:No, she's not going to be sad for you, she's going to be happy. But I think that time away is needed, especially that retreat, like I've always wanted to do me and Jackie's talk about doing a woman's retreat where we can just connect with our natural feminine energy. So that's a goal of ours.
Speaker 2:And they all. They are very, very expensive, but I think that we got willing.
Speaker 1:Yes, we're going to speak it into existence.
Speaker 3:I was gonna say start doing that, do the research, find the exact one you want to go to the one I did miraval actually was like eight bills a night I saw that one and the one in arizona.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, so take the pictures yeah, cut out the pictures, put it on a board, put it into oh, cool exercise actually. So you know how we write down goals. And we like oh yeah, I have my goal for the year, yada, yada, yada. This gentleman there said look, take your three main goals. He goes make it simple, make it three main goals and either index card or something. He goes, as funny as it may, look, paste it in your car. He's like no matter what, you're going to go to your car at least five times a week, right? He goes if you're not working every day, you're still going to go to your car One way or another. You got to do something. And he's like it's forced goal consumption, Right, because it's very easy to put, it's a good practice. Yo, I'm honest man, I ain't gonna bullshit, be like yo. Guys, I came back and holy shit is my routine.
Speaker 1:On point, well, yeah, that's like putting a picture of a bathing suit on your refrigerator.
Speaker 3:So whenever you want a?
Speaker 1:snack.
Speaker 3:You're like I didn't try it because oh, you know, I've tried multiple things like that, like, just like putting the scale right there. So I see it every time Like I'm not weighing myself today.
Speaker 1:Fuck that. Yeah, that's, yeah. I mean, we know there are things that can help us do it, but it's just doing it.
Speaker 2:It's the doing. I'm like hmm.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but you're starting the gym tomorrow, you said. She said I said it too. Is it gonna happen? Whoa? Crack addicts yes, what time five. I don't know if I can go with this pain, but you're cleared yeah, I'm clear.
Speaker 2:I'm clear to go to the gym, dope, yeah any pre-workouts you use or something?
Speaker 3:yeah, coffee, no, I don't drink coffee.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, for God, I don't drink coffee, so I actually I've been actually taking colostrum.
Speaker 3:Mmm, baby colostrum, huh, baby colostrum from like my calf.
Speaker 2:No, no, no, it's actually. It's the brand that I found and it's powder. That's just expensive and you, you put it. It makes it water there. Yeah, you can put it with water, you can put it in your coffee, you can put it whatever, whatever you, you, you drink. So I would put it in my pre-workout and take it like that and I actually works fast what does it do? So the benefits are for so bloating, um, better brain function, um, obviously the hair, skin and nails, so something that like collagen with you.
Speaker 2:So it kind of takes over okay, it takes over the same as collagen yep, all right so we do the same thing um, and it helps with your digestive system I need that yep asap.
Speaker 1:Listen, I said, as soon as I turned 40, my whole digestive system changed. Yeah, I used to go to the bathroom regularly all day and now it's like days and I'm like, oh my god, what am I gonna do?
Speaker 3:like did you change your diet? You think no, not really I haven't.
Speaker 1:I haven't changed my diet um, I'm still eating regular like I try to. You know I was on medication but I haven't been on for the past three weeks and I'm still like. Not regular, yeah, but it gets to the point where I'm super bloated, I'm like Fever. Yeah, yeah. So, but it's definitely our age, Like when, yeah, I have to like really like accept it. I saw, yeah, our age.
Speaker 2:Yeah, she's not there. What happened? You found one gray hair.
Speaker 3:I found a gray hair there. Look at this shit.
Speaker 1:I know, but I don't get gray hair. No, I have a ton, I have so many. And I thought about you and I said let me embrace this like Jackie, let me not pull it out.
Speaker 3:Why would you pull it out? No, I don't pull it out Because I like to pull them.
Speaker 1:But if I saw them, like occasionally, I would pull them out.
Speaker 2:I did like sticky. Now I see it. I see it. Yeah, you see it, she's a bitch, I embrace my graze. No, but it looks good on, men I think.
Speaker 1:The salt and pepper looks good on men.
Speaker 2:I feel like the salt and pepper looks amazing on men. I love salt and pepper on a man, especially on the beard too.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you know.
Speaker 3:Yo, I just got grazed in my beard so I used to talk mad shit because I had no graze in my beard and probably like a week after talking shit I had like three different grazes in my beard they're coming but I mean, it looks good on men, but for women on my beard filter well, not the beard, but but I will say, johnny, we missed you.
Speaker 1:we didn't see you for three weeks and I got to the point where I'm like what's up with Johnny, like he doesn't love us anymore. Where's the love? What's going on?
Speaker 3:But every meeting in the rehab center I spoke about you guys. So, you know I'm absent, but I'm not absent minded, Okay that's good Well.
Speaker 2:I'm glad I was in your thoughts, I'm glad, I'm glad that the feelings mutual. Nah yo, we were like, just only missing you.
Speaker 3:I really was like fucking tight no offense, Paige that Paige was just not fucking cooperating that day and staying with my mom because I had just came back and I had like all this shit going on. I was like yo, I can't wait to go to the studio, just be around my people. It's a relief, it's therapeutic. I want to be with you guys, the energy, everything and I'm like I'm ready. And there goes Paige.
Speaker 1:Was it her team?
Speaker 3:No, it's just her being a pain in the ass. She's a fucking yo-nya.
Speaker 2:Like she has. So, baby, you're so nice. I swear why? Because I would have been like you'll get over it. You're not crying blood. How about? She's the lucky one no. I right. However, you need to take care of yourself. Like they're crying. They'll get over it right, and I'm not saying that you should have done that.
Speaker 1:That was nice that was great for you. Did she calm down after a little bit yeah?
Speaker 3:as soon as I was there.
Speaker 2:Listen, I'm more so. Is that separation?
Speaker 1:anxiety.
Speaker 2:Exactly, but you were gone for a little bit.
Speaker 3:No, she was with me. The problem was that, because I was around her every day, we were around her every day, carrying her every day, she wasn't crawling because in DR the floor was all filthy.
Speaker 3:I'm not allowed to crawl so it was every day somebody with her, yo. So when she came back, it was like it's either my mom, my dad and that's it. Not even Penelope, like usually. She wanted nothing to do with me. So I took my mom. I'm like yo, mom, look here, you going to stay with her, everything's going to be cool, yeah yeah. I went to take Penelope to her cousin's house. When I got back I just hear, like from the outside. I hear I'm like what the fuck? I look at her. Her face is red, just all here. I'm like what's going on? My mom was like yo, for the last 20 something minutes since you left and she noticed you weren't here. It's been straight nothing I could do to give her snacks, do any of that stuff?
Speaker 1:whoa that's dad life amir's brother's had a long night he got a 15 month old, so he knows, oh, torture. We're gonna talk about that because that's the dad life.
Speaker 3:Amir's brother's had a long night he got a 15 month old, so he knows oh torture.
Speaker 2:I hate kids. We're gonna talk about that because that's wild, you guys.
Speaker 1:You guys are gonna bond over that he's not the first one to snore in the studio he's definitely the first one to snore.
Speaker 3:I was like damn Don thinks we're boring damn.
Speaker 1:I was like why you gotta be mine. I was tired because of Jasmine.
Speaker 3:Yes, true.
Speaker 1:Tired of me.
Speaker 3:She's tired of her. Oh, that's so funny. So yeah, so she was. And the thing is I'm with Jackie, like I'm kind of the person even though I don't believe in this whole generation of the Western society where it's like you gotta let them get independent by crying their life away at night no, I ain't with that shit. But I'm also like yo, you be all right, you a grandma. My mentality at the moment was yo, I don't want mommy dealing with this shit for the night that.
Speaker 2:See that I didn't know that she was with grandma.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that is where I probably would have been like.
Speaker 2:That's why I was like nah.
Speaker 3:Shut up, Anxious. Nah, my mom is cool with that, I give it to her. My mother, even my mom, was like pero vete no te preocupe, Sabe que si ella llora a las cuatro horas ella llora. I was like I'm not doing that shit to you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, what the fuck I look like. Like that's not you know. Just imagine having her cry for four hours.
Speaker 1:She'll fall asleep. She'll fall asleep.
Speaker 3:That night and then wake up to spaz out again, which is kind of like.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:I had to calculate all that Like as much as I wanted to bounce, and my mom was like yo just bounce. I was like I'm not doing that shit because I know this kid, you know your kids. Man Like Penelope, I would have been like I'm out. Penelope would have been fine after like this one's nuts.
Speaker 1:It's tough, especially when they're little and they can't speak, you know, because you don't know what's wrong. Yeah, but knowing your kids is important because you know my Romeo, he be testing me right. What was it the week before last? He's like Mom, I don't feel good, I have a headache, and usually I'm like no, you just, you didn't sleep, you didn't go to sleep. When I told you to go to sleep, you were up, You're tired. So he's like oh my, I really have a headache. So it was a Friday. I was like you know what, Stay home, Because I didn't want to deal with it. It was a Thursday, so he stayed home. I got home from work and he was playing the game Friday morning. He's like I feel nauseous.
Speaker 3:Are you sure he was lying, or did he get better?
Speaker 1:Well, he was better enough to play the game.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he got better. That doesn't mean he was lying when he had a headache.
Speaker 1:Well, I took it as you were lying, you were tired and now you are playing the game with all these visuals you know screaming and shit which is going to make you have another headache.
Speaker 1:Screaming at the, I'm nauseous, I don't feel well. I was like, no, you're going to school, oh, but what if I don't feel good? So you call me. So I stayed local that day as soon as his bus came. His bus comes at 7.50 to pick him up 8.30, he called me. I didn't even get to work yet. I feel nauseous, so I had to pick him up. As soon as I picked him up, mama tore up. Thank God I had a plastic bag in my car.
Speaker 3:I told you.
Speaker 1:Because I was thinking, if he throws up in my new car I will be sorry. Remember that poll that we did about driving and vomit in the car and I'm like this is a new car, it's going to smell like vomit. I'm not cleaning that shit. He threw up in the so I was like damn, I was feeling bad. I sent him to school.
Speaker 3:He was that's what I'm saying. He probably got better or he had like something, so that headache could have been like what do you call that when people get that?
Speaker 1:Migraine when you're nauseous?
Speaker 2:Yeah, oh could have been, but that's also from the video games.
Speaker 2:Because so Well I don't think it was that going around, yeah, that norovirus, novovirus, whatever it is. Um Ami, the other day he was like really dizzy and I was like what's wrong with you? He was like I have a really bad headache so I give him like one you know pill chill out, right, and then the next day it happens again. Notice that it's having the oculus on. Oh, and I'm like yo and this kid will keep that thing on. You gotta see him.
Speaker 3:You gotta give yourself a break after three hours on that shit. Two to three hours.
Speaker 2:And he's like he has it on. He's like like, what the hell he's doing? I'm like yo, you're gonna punch me, it's a workout, yeah, but I'm like so he's been consistently using off. I had to hide it from him, yeah.
Speaker 3:I was like no, he got the latest one.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he has the latest one, damn I still got the old one.
Speaker 3:Well, I had the old one. I don't know where my shit is at. That shit is great.
Speaker 2:Yo, so that's it, Because you know, it has like the little bands on it.
Speaker 1:No, he doesn't do, tell you, I don't know. I've seen the videos of the parents on the plank thing, you know, when they walk on the plank and then they fall and I'm like my ass would break my TV.
Speaker 3:I mean it for leisure purposes, not actually doing all that extra shit. If you sit there and watch a film, yo, that is so fire.
Speaker 2:Really, you create like a theater. I'm literally not interested. I'm not interested.
Speaker 1:Well, we gotta get interested, because we're gonna be playing Minecraft soon yo can you play Minecraft on the. Oculus, can you play Minecraft?
Speaker 2:you buy?
Speaker 3:streaming on the Oculus.
Speaker 1:Oh, that would be cool that I would try, but then we can't stream it, so then we can't listen. You don't know what happened when I was trying to play Minecraft. I'm on it. The kids are trying to teach me. I'm on the PlayStation controller. First of all, I don't know how to play. Yeah, yes, I died every five seconds. I was screaming because I didn't know there was, like zombies, a skeleton.
Speaker 1:There's square spiders, zombies, and I'm screaming like ah. And my sister's like what happened? What happened? She comes up, opens up and I was like I'm dying in the game. She's like, oh my God, you're going to give me a heart attack. Oh God, you realize there are squares, yeah, but you feel like you're getting attacked, yeah.
Speaker 3:Like Resident Evil was different. You've never played.
Speaker 1:Minecraft on shows.
Speaker 3:No, I haven't. Oh, you got to. I was playing with another beat the other day because I have to learn because of you guys, and I felt like a straight idiot.
Speaker 1:I'm like what am.
Speaker 2:I doing here, bro, I'm scared, I had anxiety. I told I was like I'm not going to touch she's like keep up.
Speaker 3:I'm like keep up with what I can't even see you.
Speaker 2:Where are you now? I hate when they're like I'm over here on the mountain, I'm like there's so many mountains. I was the one in Mario and Super Mario, I would be like yes.
Speaker 1:I think we were all like that that works now on the Switch.
Speaker 2:I just press all the buttons In the game.
Speaker 1:When we used to play like Mortal Kombat, I used to press all the buttons.
Speaker 2:I was the bomb in here. I was like pressing the one that was at the bottom. I was like yeah, how you like that and I was like, yeah, I don't know what the hell I was doing like yeah, how you like that. And I was like yeah, I would destroy you guys.
Speaker 1:I don't know what the hell I would do if I was praying for the president of the band. All you gotta do is block if somebody's doing that shit we should play Katie, you play video games, yo, we should.
Speaker 2:We should play Street Fighter do they still have that?
Speaker 3:there's no money in Street Fighter, we're going for the money.
Speaker 2:Yes, we need to.
Speaker 3:Minecraft. We're coming for you.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Minecraft, yes, but we, the minorities coming from the Minecraft community. Show me a post about the highest top earners in Minecraft. They were all men. White and in their 30s, 40s right.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I didn't see any person of color there.
Speaker 1:Oh no, we got to do something. I need cool parents like us yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, since they were 12.
Speaker 3:This shit is amazing because it just keeps building and building. It's endless.
Speaker 2:And then here we come, all the way in the beginning.
Speaker 3:What are we doing? Are we building like a little parent trap area?
Speaker 1:Parent trap. We should build a city. Can we build a city together? Are we building like a little?
Speaker 2:parent trap area. Parent trap yeah, we're going to have. We should build a city.
Speaker 1:Can we build a city together? Oh, we got to do that. East New York oh my gosh, that's going to be cool.
Speaker 3:That's fire bro, that's what I was watching. I was watching youtube videos of this gentleman, this kid, talking about like how he built this perfect cube, that when you hit it something breaks apart, but you got to get in the middle. I'm like what does this even mean?
Speaker 1:well, anyway, back to the sick children. Um so, trusting them so he was sick.
Speaker 1:He got home, I went to work. He was puking all day. My mom mom was there, thank God, to taking care of him. But in his school they have a policy like if you're sick within 24 hours you can't come back to school, right? So since he was throwing up all day, I didn't send him to school the next day. Then they're like calling me the next day. Oh, why isn't Romeo in school? Why me the next day? Oh, why isn't romeo in school? Why? You know, he was out the day before with the migraine. Then I had to pick him up. He missed basically all his. He was only in first period, um, and then the next day I kept him and I'm just like he was sick. Oh, you need to let us know, or send the note. And send the note with what? Right, with the pigeon. I'm basically now you're supposed to call the school and let them know when they're absent they didn't give you an email account.
Speaker 1:I never did that, I'm just like but who listen? My kid is sick. As long as I know, I'm fine, but the system now they want to know.
Speaker 3:I've had that argument with one of my friends because she doesn't understand it and I'm like you gotta understand. It's money and I don't know how, but I know that's how it works, hence why they they got forced snow days and stupid days, that they're taking them all like it's a bunch. You know so much money involved in the public school system. It's insane. So they don't really care about your child's welfare.
Speaker 3:It's that that kid needs to be there because there's checks behind it you know what that makes sense it is, and so, like that's what I'm saying now with Penelope's school Yo, you got the nurse's email, the actual direct connect to the principal. I'm like what is this? This is crazy, but it's so they can keep everything in check. It's like a weird fucking cult.
Speaker 2:That's so weird. They text message me. They're like Ami was out of school and I'm like, well, duh.
Speaker 3:Yo, you guys used to be gone out of school for days on end. We were nobody called parents.
Speaker 2:I remember. I remember when our parents the postcards you get them like a month later. Yeah, or not even that, just the freaking the message on the answer machine that I used to delete. I didn't have an answer machine. We had an answer machine. It was like delete, delete everything. I don't care who called.
Speaker 3:I think I was the only one that played the answering machine. I don't think my mom or anybody else in the house cared.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, it's so that. But I mean the boys, honestly, devin's probably the one that misses the most school Because he'd be like I don't want to go today. I'm like okay, but he doesn't do it all the time. Yeah, but if his grades are up, who cares? Right, he has good grades. Um, he's the one who misses the least amount of school. He hates missing school. So, like the other day, he was like uh friday actually. He was like he was like uh thursday night, ma I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I was like why? And he was like, just because he just looked at me, like why is she asking mike? Right, I think that's what he was thinking. Why is she asking me? And I was like get, I was like you got to sell me on it. You got 30 seconds.
Speaker 3:Sell me this pen Right.
Speaker 2:He was like because I don't want to. And I was like good enough for me, sold, wow, sold.
Speaker 3:Yo, the truth always works.
Speaker 2:No, it's true, and Truth always works. No, it's true. And I'm like listen, don't. I thought he was going to bullshit me and he didn't. I just don't want to go. And I was like, okay, done Good. And you know, Mike was like you're a sucker. Yeah, I'm a sucker. My son has great grades.
Speaker 3:Not only that, you said he doesn't do it yeah.
Speaker 1:He doesn't and he what's it called Sorry Reddit. Reddit sent me a link, an alert. Oh, I love that. Yeah, so you know, on our parents page we follow Parents Magazine and that's where we get. Like. They have a lot of like topics that we've been talking about, like on the last topic, the last pod with all the things we went over, yeah, uh-huh. Good job, dawn. So this past week they had a post that says school attendance policies are forcing sick kids to go to school and that needs to end right.
Speaker 3:So it's just yeah, right why would you? Want your kid going to get some motherfucking kids sick exactly, exactly.
Speaker 2:But like you said, it's a money, it's a money grab, right, yeah, I just thought about it so and so, then, you get, and that explains my phone call, you know like, and then everybody's you know.
Speaker 1:But then if they have a fever and they're fine the next day. They still have to be fever-free for 24 hours, so it's like come on.
Speaker 3:Did that come into play after the COVID era?
Speaker 2:Yes, yeah, because, even with the baby's daycare, because, even with the baby's daycare, if he has a fever, I can't take him for 24 hours.
Speaker 1:But you want to know how stupid this is Because you know Romeo's a dramatic, so he had called me before from the nurse's office that he didn't feel. Well, they take that temperature. It was 99. 99 is not considered a fever, but since it's slightly elevated, the nurse is like well, you're going to have to pick him up. It was like 1.30. They get dismissed at 2.30. I was like I'm an hour away, he's just going to have to stay there and he's going to be home before I even get there. He's going to be on the bus.
Speaker 2:Well, he can't go on the bus. He can't go on the bus, but he could stay in the school.
Speaker 1:No, I had to pick him up?
Speaker 3:No, this is what you should have done. You should have been like listen, I am on my way. By the way, can I speak to my son real?
Speaker 1:quick. No, I told him. I said I'm not going to get there. I told him why do you to be over? If you're sick, call me in the morning. So I told the nurse. I said I'm going to be there after the kids already get dismissed. Well, someone will be here. So it's fine, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 3:You should have gone on the phone with Romeo and been like Romeo. Look when you hear the bell ring, get the fuck out the office and run on the bus. I'm not picking you up.
Speaker 1:I, I'm lying, I should've, I should've he would've been down, cause they would've been like watch this shit. You know what I mean? No, but he wanted to come home.
Speaker 3:That little shit, yeah, but they that would've been an adventure like yo just sit in the nurse's office and fuck with her. You gotta use the kids, man. You gotta make them feel like they're.
Speaker 2:Ami wouldn't do it in control.
Speaker 2:No, that's what I'm saying you gotta know which kid right, you gotta know which kid to do it with no, devin, be like okay, like sometimes, like he had had this and I have to go get him new glasses, but like I guess, like his eyesight was, you know, it's getting worse. So he was having headaches, yeah right, and so he, he like text me, I want to say maybe by like one o'clock, and he was like Ma, can I just get my last period? And I'm like what's wrong? I have a headache, whatever. And I'm like leave the school.
Speaker 1:Don't get caught. But he's in high school, so you can leave. Yeah, but for these kids they don't report. At the end of the day he's 12. They're sending an umbrella out or something, right?
Speaker 3:Shit is crazy. Now, yeah, the fact that you have to check in every time you're absent is nuts.
Speaker 2:I don't, though I don't do it. They text me and I'm like oh, they call me.
Speaker 1:And if I don't pick up, they'll call their dad. Yeah, and I'm like how he's going to know why, how's he going to know? Like, call me, hello, leave me a message.
Speaker 3:The point is for him to call you after.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and that's what happens. A text oh, why didn't he go to school? Because he didn't want to Nanya.
Speaker 2:What are you going to do? What are you going to do about it?
Speaker 1:You want to come and take care of him. I. I'm not saying his name they're so hype now that they're off next week, oh my god. And they're making all these plans and I'm like you do know you're on spring break, but I have to work. I'm not on spring break, so I don't know who's gonna take you till they do these things, because I can't, no.
Speaker 2:And then I was like I was gonna take like one or two days off. And then I was like I guess I'm going to work six days.
Speaker 3:Yeah, yeah, Nah forget that.
Speaker 1:Are you guys doing anything with your kids for spring break? I want to.
Speaker 3:You should take the time off and then go hang out by yourself. Damn these kids.
Speaker 1:Mom, what are you doing? I'm at work, enjoying life. I'm having a happy hour.
Speaker 2:Yo, I go to happy hour all the time. Now I see, yeah, you need it. Yo Friday I think it was Friday, yeah.
Speaker 3:When is happy hour?
Speaker 1:Anytime after work, anytime after or during the work day, lunch Do they have like a happy hour during hours. Usually it starts at three.
Speaker 2:It's usually Well, no, well for us, like 11, damn, that's happy breakfast, happy brunch, it's happy brunch. Yeah, we go literally walk into the well in the cities, like that, you know no, but literally I walk into the bar, we go there. So often that they're like, they're like, hi, you gonna have this.
Speaker 1:I'll take an espresso martini. I need to wake up so I can get this work done.
Speaker 3:That was my favorite part of being in the car biz being what being in the car biz. We were drunk high all day.
Speaker 1:Damn that too All day. Did it help you with your sales?
Speaker 3:Yeah, because you're relaxed Like we're just on drugs which is. I'm not with that, but it was like I always have, you see, my flask. That's why I was so used to always having my flask, because no matter what time of day, we'd be like yo, yeah. And then my boy Angel and I we always like set it up like yo, one o'clock, let's go because Taco Bell had these special.
Speaker 1:You would mix it with liquor.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we'd stop at the liquor store. We'd grab a bottle of gin because it's the least smelling one when you're there drinking at work.
Speaker 2:Oh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, we'd load them shits up, puff on the way back, drink as we're on the floor and boss lady allowed it. She was amazing. She'd be like listen, as long as you're not fucked up and you can know what you're doing, go right ahead, enjoy yourself.
Speaker 2:That's what I love about my boss now, because he'd be like when I leave for lunch, I'll come back. He'll be like so how many rounds you had?
Speaker 1:And I'm like I didn't have anything, I just went to go get pizza. He's like that's a cool boss. No, he freaking bet it against me the other day.
Speaker 3:I'm the best boss Jasmine would be like.
Speaker 1:I go to happy hours with him, but I do go after you, you know it's legal.
Speaker 2:It's legal in the state of new york.
Speaker 1:Listen, you could have, I think after 10 am and that's when I figured out that I really love an espresso martini, because it wakes me up and it makes me feel good my mind went a different place.
Speaker 3:I I think you're going to say that's what I figured out. I'm an alcoholic.
Speaker 1:Only socially. Yes, but no, I don't have any plans with them. I can't take off actually because my PTO sucks. It's accrued, so I only have like three days.
Speaker 3:What's PTO for the less cultured ones like myself?
Speaker 1:Damn Johnny. Pay time off. Okay, it's accrued at a rate of two hours a week, I think, or something like that.
Speaker 2:Two hours a week.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's so much I accrue.
Speaker 3:Oh, and then throughout the year it accumulates.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it equals 20 days, but they don't give it to you all in the beginning, because if they fire you and then they give you all these days, you know shit, my, my company gives unlimited pto.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, because you don't get paid hired because you don't get paid. You can just take off whenever you want I can take off whenever the hell I want so it's unlimited, but it's not pto it's just to, it's just to, and I can have forever off. Yeah, just quit just quit so um.
Speaker 3:I don't have any plans with them during the week free time mom.
Speaker 1:You guys are ridiculous. What the highlight of my week is Romeo's getting braces on Thursday why is that a highlight for you that hurts um, just because he needs them, he needs it yeah, but that's not a highlight for him, it's not for him, but I'm taking half a day off, so I'm leaving early.
Speaker 2:So that's my highlight. His pain is my pleasure At the dentist's office, like do-do-do.
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm off the clock. Do not call me till tomorrow, sorry.
Speaker 3:And I'm calling all the time. That's not how it works. You know that, right? Wow, because of the position that you're, they will call you.
Speaker 1:Yeah Well, I wonder. Unless somebody's dead, unless the building's on fire.
Speaker 3:Or the person's on fire.
Speaker 1:Literally. Oh my God, oh, so what was? Was he really an anti-Trump protester?
Speaker 3:I don't give a fuck what he was. He must have been on fentanyl. The man was literally burning and standing there like if nothing's wrong, not yelling or nothing until the end.
Speaker 1:I thought it was an accident, because I saw the flame video first after he's already lit, but then I saw the second video where he's pouring gasoline on himself. No it wasn't.
Speaker 2:What was it? It was like a like a cleaning product, was it? I didn't know that. I thought it was gas. It was like a cleaning product and he just like doused himself with it. It didn't even soak him all the way and he just like lifts it.
Speaker 1:Oh my God, so I was telling Don about it. I'm like if I was there I would have helped.
Speaker 3:I would have went like this. No one's alarmed by the fact that people were just like yo, this motherfucker's drenching.
Speaker 1:But he said if it's flammable and you try to like, go like that, it'll like come on you.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh, I think that's injured, traumatized I'm sure no, but they were like injured. There was like four officers injured and him, and then he survived to the next morning and then he died.
Speaker 1:Did he die? Because I didn't hear that either. Thank God he died Because living with that.
Speaker 2:At the extent of the burns he was gonna die.
Speaker 1:Listen, you get a little like a burn with an iron or curling iron, and it's terrible.
Speaker 3:Imagine so that he was just that. He was definitely drugged up. There's no way, I don't know. They said that he's a conspiracy theorist. It's like extreme protest yeah, he must have been meditating or something with the name.
Speaker 2:Do you think he wanted to die? Yes, I think he knew he was gonna die. There's no way he was killing himself for sure you saw that video video.
Speaker 3:Yo bro. He literally stands there dousing himself with some liquid and you see him like get a little drenched or whatever You're like oh man, that's crazy. Is he hot? And all of a sudden he goes.
Speaker 1:These days he's hot and it's like, and he's just standing there walking like that's when I'm going to show you the video.
Speaker 3:But I think in that position I would have I get it. You're like, oh, you'll be on fire. I just I don't think I would just stand there like no, I would have tried to help, however I can. I would have bum rushed him.
Speaker 2:Stop dropping roll, roll yourself on the floor, somebody, yo Run towards him.
Speaker 1:You know what pisses you off?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Talk your shit, jackie, talk your shit. So the shit that pisses me off Right there Is how no one has any feeling, like no one can be serious about this, no one can have a serious thought about this.
Speaker 3:Nobody can have.
Speaker 2:No, no, she's talking about the comments. If you read the comments in this, like somebody was like why did he drop and roll? And the next person was like because he didn't stop? First I was like what the fuck? And then like that's how all the culture has become. Yes, are straight jokes. And I'm like you guys have no humanity left. Like Like everybody's, first of all, everybody's, recording this. No one's helping him, and I get it. Nobody wants to really help a man on fire. I must, I should you know. I will be like yo, but what are we doing? And obviously it takes some time to get. You know, the fire extinguisher and all of that stuff help this man, but no one, no one.
Speaker 3:Somebody should have rushed him.
Speaker 1:Yes, At least you don't have to hold him Well they did show one guy trying to do something, but at that point the fire had already spread.
Speaker 2:At that point he was already on the floor roasting, yeah, and he literally was standing there and I understand, just like the other guy that did this. He did this in front of the White House.
Speaker 1:I think he put himself on fire of the White House. I think he put himself on fire. Yeah, I didn't see that video. I didn't know that he was the first one.
Speaker 3:Guys, don't follow this trend.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure that he yes, please don't.
Speaker 2:I'm not sure if he put himself on fire or if he blew himself up, but I think he put himself on fire. I forgot what the protest is called. It's like a self-mutilating protest. It is a. It's an extreme form of protest. You're turning to kamikazes out here, yeah, and, and the thing is, is that so the the first guy? He was doing it because of everything that's happening in um in gaza, and did he die? Yeah, yes, he died immediately. He died um and he, he did it like he was no joke about it, but he's not the first person to do this. So, and he's probably this is probably not going to be the last time that we hear about this, or, but the way that people are just like not serious about this at all, no one can like really have like a thought or just be like fuck, why would somebody do this? Some shit is really going on in this world. Oh, it's definitely a mental issue yes.
Speaker 2:That somebody is doing this and everybody's just joking about it Like it's fucked world. Oh, it's definitely a mental issue, yes, that somebody is doing this and everybody's just joking about it Like it's fucked up.
Speaker 3:Listen, I'm not going to lie man. Some of them are funny. No, and it's, there was a really good one where the guy was like yo, these gender reviews are getting out of hand and I was just like in tears, bro, let's make some s'mores.
Speaker 1:But you know what it's like, how we are so like used to people jumping in front of trains.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 1:Right. Like that topic.
Speaker 3:You know. So this is going to, unfortunately, this is going to be a new thing, but we're in a time where people are quick to try to gain Internet fame, right, and the best way to do that at this point is to say the coldest jokes, right. So you'll see some shit that's like super serious, like you know, even some kid with down syndrome, something, all of a sudden is like. Watch these comments and I'm like, damn, yeah, that's not funny bro damn funny, but we do be sending each other some, some videos but it's like a thing like but look, it's to a point where we're not funny now right
Speaker 1:it's like yo check this shit out like yo, we send each other some videos. Yo, what is? What is it? No?
Speaker 3:you sent me some cruel shit. It's called self-immolation, the deaf guy rapping.
Speaker 1:Bro, he was good, though Shut the fuck up. That's why he's on it. He was like Kanye West he had a flow. He was on point, though, he's hearing something oh my God.
Speaker 2:So it's called self-immolation.
Speaker 3:Self-immolation, immolation, immolation. Yeah, don't self-immolate people.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:It's not nice and it doesn't get any results.
Speaker 1:You're just an idiot. Literally 100%.
Speaker 3:I'm not with that shit. Listen, I am very compassionate with people going through stuff Once in it, like with people going through stuff. Once you start doing stuff like that, especially if it's based off of politics, I have a problem with it.
Speaker 2:So this happened last month as well, so it was that guy that did it. He was a US Air Force soldier and he did that, amir was in the Air Force.
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Army.
Speaker 3:Army.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and he did it, and I think he did it in front of the White House, if I'm not sure. That shit's not getting results. No, in front of the Israeli embassy because of all of the stuff that was happening in Gaza.
Speaker 3:I think at that point here's the thing If I know, oh yo, I'm ready to go out because obviously I'm about to just hurt myself and do some crazy shit, I'm coming full force and throwing a bomb at the embassy or something, I'm gonna make some kind of impact that's gonna fuck shit up because they're gonna kill me anyway, at that point, why kill myself to make a point that no one's gonna take serious?
Speaker 1:only for that day, and then the next day you're forgotten, because look you guys didn't even know about it.
Speaker 2:No, and that's the thing that you like. So it. Things like this, like yes, you're doing this and it, and you're trying to get people to talk about it and think about the issue that you are passionate about, and you are willing to kill yourself over this, but it ain't getting nowhere by the way, I was just making an example.
Speaker 3:That's not something I would do. Yes, it was him.
Speaker 1:It was him, the cute one oh, please um seek help if you are having thoughts really especially suicidal life is dark.
Speaker 3:These times are dark. Shit is happening. It's constant. There's no escaping it. I'm going through it. Everybody I know is going through some kind of thing. Talk about it. Seek help, like you just said. Right now the access to therapy is a lot better because you don't have to go to an office. You don't want to see somebody, you want to show your face. They have better help. There's text therapy, there's call therapy, like at this point you could be a ghost going to therapy.
Speaker 2:Even though it's not always the best, because I will say that I didn't have the best experience seeking therapy. I went to I forgot what the name of the company, it was like a text. Yeah, it was like a text thing. They were only available until like 5 o'clock in the afternoon and back then I was in retail and this bitch she had the fucking nerve to say it is five minutes to five and I cannot help you right now, so you're going to have to find someone else. And I was like what if I was on the bridge? It probably was. Honestly, I was like I thought it was talk space.
Speaker 3:Okay, what if I was on the bridge? It probably was. Honestly, I was like I thought it was talk space.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I should jump. I know they had the whole texting thing. No, like, no, I'm just saying she didn't even like, she didn't try at all and I'm like yo, this is not what you got your license for, bro.
Speaker 3:Yo, that is crazy. Yeah, Because I've heard horror stories about these apps, because I don't know if the vetting process to become one of the therapists on there is as extensive as actually you know. It takes money to have your own office. Like if you're going to be like one of those little rooms, something that is very different than you being like what. I can just jump on Skype right now and help people and let's do it, but it's still better than not trying.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Fuck her Should be better. Fuck you, you loser, ass loser I am. What the hell is wrong with you? I hope you went and did something to yourself. I'm just kidding.
Speaker 1:No, stop it. Do you guys think the post-COVID world has a lot to do with modern day mental health crisis? Yes, yeah.
Speaker 2:I think that the shutdown fucked a lot of people up.
Speaker 1:I up? I agree. Well, I was one. Yeah, you know, I was dealing with september. The end of september the year prior, in 2019, my father passed away, so I had to take care of my mom and then, seeing on the news, you're thinking end of world, end of the world, you're gonna die if you go outside, right?
Speaker 3:and then I became so like what do you think about your mom?
Speaker 1:yeah, my mom is older. We have, she has. She has a lot of health issues. I'm asthmatic. I had the kids working from home, the kids going to school from home. We were in a one-bedroom apartment trying to figure out how to do remote schooling, trying to get my work done, trying to make sure we got food. You don have to go out. I had to glove up, put a mask on. I thought it was the end of the world too. I'm like shit, we're going to die. That's a doom.
Speaker 1:I became so, so scared, like I thought I developed panic disorder and I tried to manage it on my own and it became every day got worse, watching the news, seeing the numbers of how many people are dying. And then we were sick Me and my mom had a call for like a month, but we couldn't even go to doctor because everything was on. You know it was so. The lines were around the corners and blocks, I remember, and it was telehealth. You know they weren't giving anything unless you were like critical, then you go to hospital. You never came home, right, you know that was the scary part, yeah, so I was looking for help. I knew I needed help because I was.
Speaker 1:Every day I would lock myself in the bathroom and try to breathe. I was. I had insomnia, I didn't sleep. I felt like I was gonna die. You guys know, because I would. You know, I had circles under my eyes. I was just like, guys, I don't know what I can, I'm going to die. Yeah One.
Speaker 1:I used to look open the window, stick my head out the window and just breathe to try to relax. I was calling all these psychiatrists and nobody was taking new patients at the time and I'm just like what am I supposed to do? So one day my mom's therapist called. I was like mom, please, I need to speak to him. And I was just like I need help, I feel like I'm going to die, I can't breathe. He was able to get me an appointment as a new patient remotely remote, for a first time. They don't give medication to anybody without seeing them Right. But he knew like how serious I was because he's been my mom's therapist for years. They sent me medication that helped right away and I'm not pro-medication At first I was. I was like damn, I don't want to get addicted to medication.
Speaker 3:If you need it, take it.
Speaker 1:But it helped me, plus therapy. I was doing therapy every week at that point and you know I was on a medication. I was on a few medications because of course they was on a medication. I was on a few medications because of course they all have side effects, but I would say that medication and therapy helped me and it's been four years now. I haven't been on medication for two years, but I do have therapy every two weeks and that I look forward to In person or no, it's on the phone Awesome.
Speaker 1:I never met him in person and he's been my therapist since 2020. But even now that I feel like my life is kind of like normal, I still need it Right, because I'll talk to him about work, stress about the kids, about my everyday life, even if I don't have anything to vent about. Just talking to him, letting him know what's going on in my life, yeah, helps me.
Speaker 3:It's a non-biased opinion.
Speaker 2:Correct, and he will give you a different perspective that you're not even going to think about.
Speaker 1:And then he lets me know that I need to reward myself and give myself grace, and he's a fan of the show.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, he's like the person that you are now. You know being the one who used to lock yourself in the bathroom and you had anxiety and insomnia and panic disorder and you thought you weren't going to live. And then he's like I see you now on the podcast and you guys are amazing and I'm just like, thanks to you, yeah, because if I didn't, who knows what would have happened. Right, you know you, you think I would never do that, but the way I felt like I had no way out, that's what happens to these people because you're you're.
Speaker 2:It takes you to a different place in your mind. Like you, you you're always like I'm not. I would never do that or I would never think that way until you're put in a situation where you do Because it compounds.
Speaker 2:You know, I have been in places mentally where I was so stressed that like I was like how high is this building, like literally, and I had to get myself out of it. I never spoke to anybody about it. I had to kind of like tell myself, no, you have kids, you can't do that. You know you have to live for them. And it's a really dark. Do that. You know you have to live for them. And that's a it's a really dark place that you get into. And then I will say I'm probably opposite, because in that, in that time of where where we had the shutdown, I loved it I'm gonna say I was with you I loved it I think it had a, but that to me, is also a bad effect it is
Speaker 3:right. The fact that we were able to be like, wow, this is how shit should be, that shit is fucking crazy, because I think it took away a sort of level of compassion that people had as well. Once you realize, like yo, I really am alone in this world. Yeah, as much as there's mad people, there's always somebody around. Think about people that are used to that. They don't really have friends, family to really really mess with, but they go to a workplace where now you have conversations with people.
Speaker 3:You got that interaction and now you're not doing that. Now you're on a screen. You're like, hey, what's up, pal, life is good. Man, I'm over here in the philippines just doing my thing, bro, I love this. And you're like, damn, he went to the philippines. Like I wish I could go to the philippines, but I'm stuck here because I don't have anybody. So it started to shift people's perspective into, like yo, we really are alone. At the end of the day, born alone, die alone is an actual thing, even though it's not because you were born, your mother there, the mind goes that route.
Speaker 2:The mind goes that route I have plenty of times where I'd be like, not even like yo, let me jump off a building, but really yo, if I didn't wake up tomorrow, man, would shit be peaceful. Wow, wow, that's such a fucked up. It is like way to think too, because like would it, would it really be? Because you feel like you. You, you feel like there's a burden that you wouldn't be passing along.
Speaker 1:But but then what about the people who are gonna suffer, your kids?
Speaker 3:are fucked, your parents are fucked, your siblings, your cousin, yo friends that you didn't even think cared about you yeah right because you never have those convos.
Speaker 3:It's very rare where you tell a person like yo man, I appreciate you, bro, like not for nothing. I know we only talk about once every three months, but I really appreciate those conversations. You don't think to say that, right, and then you die and that person's like holy shit, I can never talk to jackie Right, those conversations every like quarter were damn and you you know. But it's like I said, that era, that time really did a number in many ways and I think it was on purpose. I still believe people call me conspiracy theorist, what you want Same. If I look at how everything happened, right, everything transpired. And then now to the way they look back at it after freaking us out, going all this stuff, like putting us in this hole, and they're like yeah, it's kind of like a fever, I mean like the flu.
Speaker 2:Like the flu you got it, you'll be all right.
Speaker 1:And that's my thing because, okay, when it stopped stimulating the economy.
Speaker 2:That's when they were like oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We did this, but we didn't mean to do it like this. We still want the money flow. You can't have it. You can't have book plays.
Speaker 1:You know how much online shopping I did during that time Amazon, oh my God, that's the only thing that got me through. I would look for things for these kids to keep them entertained. I remember buying bath bombs with surprises in them, just so that every day, every day, they were excited to take a bath and have a have a new surprise in the bath bomb, because I'm like what?
Speaker 2:am I gonna do? They're gonna drive me crazy. I bought them all like easels, and I bought packs and packs of like canvases. I bought paints and paint brushes and coloring books, all types of shit. How many days they used that for? No, they did a lot. Oh, they did.
Speaker 1:Not mine. They did so many.
Speaker 2:No, they kept on doing it. I used to take the garbage bags, I used to cut them in the middle so that I could lay them flat on the table and I used to put everything out and they would go what do you want to draw? And I used to. What do you want to draw? And I used to get them something to look at so that they could draw and paint. And they would do that. And I would do it with them, like I had to keep them like entertained. They were outside. Like I used to take them to the front. What the hell else were we going to do? Some fresh air, you know get some fresh air.
Speaker 2:Get out of the house.
Speaker 3:I was in the streets because of my job, like with Union Beer, so I was in and out. What?
Speaker 1:do they call that Essential worker?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was essential. I was getting everybody the alcohol. People need some booze. I was drinking and driving like crazy.
Speaker 1:During that time. Yeah, people were drinking for breakfast. That's what I'm trying to tell you.
Speaker 3:I'd be in my car right.
Speaker 2:And I'd pick up like some beer from a thing like I'm just in my car just driving drinking beer windows down.
Speaker 1:It's not twice. It used to be our house party. We used to have a girls night. Oh, house party. Yeah, yeah, we used to be. We got dressed up and everything for makeup yeah, you guys and played goofy.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, we got dressed up, we got dressed up.
Speaker 1:We did a podcast that we never posted me and my boys.
Speaker 3:Really we did like a three hour podcast multiple times remote like you guys just on zoom and it was therapeutic yeah because at that point we weren't seeing each other. We used to meeting up once a month doing this shit, yeah, and we were just doing it online and we never posted one. And I remember afterward like fast forward, probably two years later one of my boys was like yo, whatever happened to those episodes we did and I was like they sucked, but we had a good time.
Speaker 3:Yeah, you know what I was going to post that shit.
Speaker 2:I used to go to the basement. We used to have a whole freaking.
Speaker 3:Y'all weren't meeting up behind people's backs.
Speaker 1:No no, oh y'all were really serious.
Speaker 3:We weren't. We were really yeah, I was going to Like just get out there. And thankfully I made it, because I know people that didn't.
Speaker 2:No, we did, we did like we started doing fitness together. We would, we did everything. Well, I didn't do it?
Speaker 1:I didn't do it, I was just naturally.
Speaker 3:They were holding the cash oh $8 a person For what and there was like 100,000 people.
Speaker 1:Oh, for those yeah the workout. I didn't do it because I was. We didn't pay for it, I was just no, I was dying already. I was like insomnia, I looked like a zombie, I wasn't sleeping. I lost 50 pounds in 2020, the year of COVID. Then that's when I had my surgery. You seen that video?
Speaker 3:I showed you where I'm throwing the money around.
Speaker 1:I look like a oh my god, no, don't ever get that skinny again.
Speaker 3:That was that time too really.
Speaker 2:Oh, my goodness and stress. I worked, I did, I worked out, I worked out so much. I remember, yo, I used to hit up Jamie and be like we would be on FaceTime and we'd be working out in the same workout together and like pushing each other on, like that was the only thing that we had.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was doing three hour walks and it was like a wasteland because nobody was outside loved it I loved it I was locked up in the house like a prisoner.
Speaker 2:I, if I was to go to jail, I would yeah no, I'll tell you straight up yeah, jail is not for anybody no, not for me, but definitely staying home for me, I'm okay with self-enforced jail is so, yes, home and and, and and, chill out and do all those things. I think that's when I started getting into like planting and stuff like that.
Speaker 3:Plantains. I love plantains. Girl Gardening.
Speaker 1:Did anything actually come to? I have so many plants right now Peppers.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I have so many plants right now.
Speaker 1:I have yeah, I have so many plants right now.
Speaker 2:I have like ridiculous.
Speaker 1:Wait, did you actually have fruit that came out or vegetables?
Speaker 2:Did they grow? No, no, no. I'm just saying, like I like plants, I have plants, I think she was like making her own herbs and stuff.
Speaker 1:No, but right now.
Speaker 3:I do have?
Speaker 2:I have cilantro and oregano. I love cilantro and oregano, because I mean cilantro, because I mean that's what we cook with. So I have those in the kitchen, but no, I have so many plants.
Speaker 1:I have trees in my phone. I like that, but they all die. I'm not a plant mom, I can't even. I'm dead. Thank god my kids are alive.
Speaker 3:Yeah, because I remember the feed sometimes uber eats.
Speaker 1:Thank you, uber eats they're like yo I'm ready um nuggets, please?
Speaker 2:yes, yeah, the plants can air fryer, thank you, oh me I. I have a app that I like scan them to see if they're healthy, what they need.
Speaker 3:That's cheating. You don't got no green thumb if you're doing that.
Speaker 2:Shut the fuck up. What the fuck? What kind of shit is that? No, because what I do is I'll buy a plant that's dying. Can you give me a plant and take care of it? No, because you live too far, damn.
Speaker 1:I could tell you when to water it. You sound like somebody I know she could send you the app. Inside joke I live too far, yeah, oh God. She does live too far. So anyway, another topic that.
Speaker 3:I wanted to discuss Something that we went through in the pandemic as well, if you think about it.
Speaker 1:I guess. So let's see so. And actually I have people have been talking about it, you know, as a reaction to the post the streets are talking the streets are talking, the streams are talking, the streams are the streets now, so Justin Laboy is a repost actually, but Streams the streams. I'm talking.
Speaker 3:The streams are the streets. Now, all my gangsters.
Speaker 1:Justin Laboy is a repost, actually but nobody talks about how difficult it is to grow up in a non-affectionate household, then end up with the most affectionate kids and having to learn how to accept the love and clinginess from them without getting overstimulated. And this really resonated with me because I grew up in a non-affectionate household. Like, I know they love me because they took care of me, but I didn't get the hugs, I didn't get the kisses, I didn't get the daily. I love you's. So it made me do that with my kids Now that I'm older, but with my oldest, harmony, I feel really bad about it and we spoke about it.
Speaker 1:Harmony, I feel really bad about it and we, you know, we spoke about it. But when she was younger, like she would always try to, she was very like, clingy, and I wasn't like that. I've never. I was never like the affectionate type. Yeah, so I used to be like, oh, not right now, like, like, oh, okay, okay, like. And then I saw, like, when she told me she was like you always push me away, like that broke my heart. I'm just like yes, I don't mean to, but it's just like. It just felt to me.
Speaker 1:It felt like like weird, like okay overwhelming yeah, because you didn't know how to deal with it. Well, my first, so then I made sure you know to get therapy even before therapy, when I had the other two to make sure that I did those things how did?
Speaker 3:did you force it, though, now that you, you weren't naturally like that?
Speaker 1:Because I felt bad, I felt guilty for all the times I thought about like her wanting me to just cuddle with her in bed, her wanting to just, you know, like, hug me and I'll be like yo, it was really bad.
Speaker 1:No, it was really bad, like I was a young mom. I was a young mom, I was 20. I wasn't thinking about being a mom. You know, I was working 14 hours retail. I would come home and you know she wanted that me to put her to bed at night and I left it up to my mom because my mom was the one who took care of her. You know. So when I had Romeo, she was seven, so at least you know, I was able to start. Then, you know, and I made sure to tell them from then on, every day I love you, every night, right, katie? I tell you every day I love you she doesn't know.
Speaker 1:I give them a kiss in the morning when they go to school, a hug sometimes it's too much.
Speaker 3:You can say the truth is it too much?
Speaker 1:do I love you too much?
Speaker 2:no, that's not okay, it's not enough it's not enough.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. So that's something, and and a lot of people reposted this because I guess it may have been our era, like, of growing up where I think it made me the opposite, though, like personally, yeah did you grow up in an affectionate household?
Speaker 3:no, that's what I said. My mother didn't tell me she loves me until I was like in my late 20s, and it was like it sounded. It almost made me feel weird when she said okay, I love you. And I was like, is mommy gonna die? Like, why is she telling me this shit? Oh my god, that's really the thought that came to my head because she never.
Speaker 3:Not that we you like. You said you felt love. You know, of course, uh-huh, yo, I ain't gotta worry about shit, but I didn't have that affection from nobody when. When penelope came into play, though, but I guess because I was just always like that, like I'm an affectionate person, I'm a hugger, you see, like my hugs last extra long, almost to an uncomfortable point where I could probably go to an hr office, but it's like I love hugging, I love cutting, like even with penelope you know penelope's eight I still, whenever she wants me to put her to bed, I'm putting you to bed, I don't care what anybody thinks about it, what they like it is, and I guess for me it probably came from a place of not having.
Speaker 3:It was like oh, I want the opposite. All right, like I, I want to be able to do that. Shit, I don't miss a moment. I say I love you. A hug. It was natural for me. But again, everybody's built different and I guess the absence of it can either make you normal to it, like yeah, yeah, no, that's not it. Like, like you said, like at first it was like okay, hold on. Or it can make you be like nah, I want that, that's me, that's how I'm going to roll?
Speaker 1:How about you?
Speaker 3:How are you called, gemini?
Speaker 2:No, I'm super affectionate affectionate. I don't think I didn't wake up in an affectionate household, but they did tell us they loved us okay, so it was like weird, I don't know, it's not weird yeah, like there wasn't like the hugs and the kisses and all of that like they get a mucho.
Speaker 2:No, it was like my mom, like my dad always said I love you, but he wasn't really like super affectionate with us Very, very rare. And my mom told us she loved us but she I mean, she was like kind of in between as well. But I feel like with my kids, I think with Rube, I think I got more affectionate with them as they got like I had more kids, I feel like with Rube and I probably was the least affectionate with him Physically you were young as well, physically you were young as well, physically exactly verbally, though I always, I have always told them I love them, yes, yes, always.
Speaker 2:So I feel like maybe now I'm more physically affectionate and I'll, like I'll, ask them for hugs and stuff. Devin's a little bit like I'm so cool for this you know what I did have. Now that you're talking, sorry about that, that yes, but also I had you know what I did have.
Speaker 3:Now that you're talking Sorry about that, the Benzium, that yes, but also I had very well a very I can point to one A very affectionate uncle. My Uncle, hector, was always very hugging you and kissing you like old style. It wasn't like you weren't ashamed to kiss a man on the cheek. It was kind of like hey, how are you? Hey, how are you? You know, like real, very, very affectionate. That's my favorite uncle. He's my aunt's husband.
Speaker 3:But to me he's like my favorite uncle blood or not, whatever you want to call it Damn, and I just thought about that. I had that. So maybe that's an example, because I am like that with my niece's nephew Like Aubrey, from the moment she was born, like I've been uncles since I was 10 so I always was just very close to them, always hugging, kissing, like we never had that weird thing, like oh, you know my sister being like don't touch the kids, you weird pervert or some shit people are weird like they get, unless you get a weird vibe from them.
Speaker 3:So I guess that too.
Speaker 1:I don't know well I grew up with. Whenever my dad came home, I would say bend, you know, he'll say Dios te bendiga yeah, dios te bendiga I never did it to my mom, because I was with my mom all day. Like you know, she was the home right, but my dad when he came home from work you should start doing it.
Speaker 3:I know it sounds weird, I know you're gonna be like that's my mom, I'm 40, but get that blessing, that shit is fire.
Speaker 1:I do that shit to to my aunts and my uncles when I see them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I used to only do it to my dad's side of the family because they were like that yeah, my dad's side, that's Penelope.
Speaker 3:Yeah, Penelope, like my side with a bendición all day long. The mom's side, they don't even say it to their grandmother, aunt, nobody, no even to my cousin.
Speaker 2:She was like my mom and she always took us for things that my my parents didn't do. As you guys know, like my mom's a joseph's witness, so she didn't, yeah, she didn't celebrate anything, but my, my cousin denise she was that mother for us, like she did everything. She celebrated our birthday, she took us for christmas, whatever she used to do it behind my mom's back, but yeah, at least you know we had something and she did those things for us and for her. Like, even though she's our cousin, like we still, you know, we still are like that with her, and then my aunts and stuff, everybody from that side of the family.
Speaker 3:But do you address your parents, cousins, in a way Like do you see them sometimes as uncles and aunts?
Speaker 2:Yes, dress your parents, cousins in a way, like do you see them sometimes as uncles and aunts? Yes, because it's weird. It's weird because, even though she's like our cousins, our kids call her titi, yeah, and it's like no. Well, that's like her mom all my cousins.
Speaker 1:Kids call me tío and that's the thing, because it's like a respecting yeah, yeah well, those are my brothers.
Speaker 3:if you think about your cousins like to me, those are my brothers, but the you think about your cousins like to me, those are my brothers, but the older cousins.
Speaker 1:You call them Titi and Tio.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, like my cousin Awulda. Awulda, my aunt Camille's mom. Right, she's really my cousin. She's really my first cousin, but she's the age of my parents, so I call her Titi.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that makes yeah I think about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, crazy, crazy. But um, shout out to my cousin mary, turning 60 this year. I know you want nobody to know, damn I'm black.
Speaker 3:Yo, she's bad. You gotta see my cousin mary you know what is the gene?
Speaker 1:is the gene?
Speaker 3:I like making her uncomfortable it's the genes, look nah, I'm way prettier than mary. Hold on, we're talking facially. God, here we go.
Speaker 1:M Mary's body is fire. I'm sure he's not so rude.
Speaker 2:My family's used to me.
Speaker 3:Y'all think I just do this on the low.
Speaker 2:No, you do this all the time, so rude.
Speaker 3:Anyway, especially my own podcast inside the car when I'm driving.
Speaker 1:Anyway, anyway, yes, listen, I am so happy to have us all back together. Me too, I'm so happy. You, I am so happy to have us all back together. Me too, I'm so happy.
Speaker 3:You guys don't watch, miss Rachel, no.
Speaker 1:I'm like okay.
Speaker 3:I'm the only one with a baby here.
Speaker 1:That's why MJ's four, that's not a baby. No, he's not until that.
Speaker 3:To a mom that's a baby.
Speaker 2:He's a whole little man.
Speaker 3:He's so human Like a whole boss.
Speaker 2:He was a pandemic baby Like born in 2020?. I had him in 2020.
Speaker 3:Yeah, born in 2020.
Speaker 2:Yeah, january, right before the shutdown.
Speaker 1:Yeah, bro, right before the shutdown Crazy. All right, let's wrap it up.
Speaker 3:That's what she said.
Speaker 1:Oh, and clearly it didn't work. Yeah, thank God. Was she an oops baby? No, she wasn't, wasn't. No, she was planned, she was very well planned.
Speaker 3:Yeah to the T. The T just didn't get crossed um. Anyway, thank you so much, guys, for joining us this week. We are happy to be back together. I'm happy to be here once again. I know I sound like a broken record, yo Dawn. Thank you so much, cause that episode was fire a little bit too long. You guys don't know how to really cut things short, but I loved it Blame the editor.
Speaker 1:Nah, first of all, it was great, it was chocolate jam and nobody would ever ever.
Speaker 3:We're about to address all you idiots and darts that are out there talking crazy to Jackie when she made a perfectly sane statement and y out there talking crazy to Jackie when she made a perfectly sane statement and y'all missing context. So for those of you that think the show's over, it's not yet, go sign up to the Patreon. It's $3 a month, 10 cents a day. I'm hype right now. I know you can hear it in my voice. If you want to see what we talk about, sign up and have a blessed day.