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ParentsUncut Pod
This is a Podcast surrounding the adventure, struggle, beauty and intricacies of new parenthood. Hosted by three parents, totally 10 kids in together, they go through their mazes and phases of parenting styles, parenting norms, modern day parents, their trials and tribulations whilst keeping it raw and unfiltered. Thanking you for joining us on this journey and we hope we can bring some value to new parents, old parents and those thinking of becoming parents
ParentsUncut Pod
Father's Day Fun: Heartfelt Celebrations, Breaking Stereotypes, and Dad's Special Day
What does Father's Day mean to you, and how do you celebrate the incredible dads in your life? Join us for a special episode of Parent Fun Cut as we sit down with our laid-back and charismatic guest, Donnovan, to discuss his Father's Day plans filled with family time, soccer games, and a mouth-watering barbecue. We also share a laugh about Jim Jones' cheeky suggestion for dads to treat themselves using their partner's credit cards and reflect on our own celebrations and memories of father figures who have passed.
We dive into an array of engaging topics, from thoughtful gift ideas that go beyond the usual, to creating inclusive social gatherings that everyone enjoys. In an amusing debate, we tackle the controversial idea of a "massage with a happy ending" and the universal desire for remote control freedom. Whether it's the excitement of 4D action movies like "Bad Boys 4" or the peacefulness of fishing on a serene lake, we cover the spectrum of Father's Day activities that bring joy to both dads and their families.
On a more serious note, we address breaking stereotypes within black and brown communities through initiatives like the "Cool Dads" program and highlight the importance of Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. Through heartfelt discussions, we emphasize the need for emotional intelligence and support, encouraging men to express their feelings and break the cycle of suppressed emotions. Listen in for a perfect blend of humor and heartfelt moments as we honor and support the amazing fathers in our lives.
Thank you for being here, thank you for your time and energy. We hope that we can ALL build this incredible community for parents by parents with parents.
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When it's Mother's Day in other parts of the country. When you see in other parts of the country, even in this country, you'll see other parts of other countries in, like your feed when it's Father's Day.
Speaker 3:it's like Are we good, we good to go Okay. All right, you want to do it. You want me to do it. You know it's your month. Oh, oh, it is your month, it's your month?
Speaker 1:Oh, it is your month.
Speaker 3:It's your month.
Speaker 2:Okay, welcome to Parent Fun Cut. I'm not going to do the whole other spiel that other people do, oh, and I'm not throwing no shade. But welcome to the month of the Gemini.
Speaker 1:I am Jackie and I am with my lovely co-host, jazzy's Joy, and we have a special guest, very special. Oh, that's funny. Hey, I'm Donovan. How are you guys?
Speaker 3:we are great thank you for being our guest host today yeah, I mean it's good.
Speaker 1:I think, uh, the last time I was here, well, not here. But the last time I was here, well, not here. But the last time I was on, man, I got a lot of good reception.
Speaker 2:Good Well, welcome to my casa.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2:Your casa is amazing, my little casita.
Speaker 1:It's nice.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, can I be your roommate?
Speaker 2:We gotta get rid of them, kids.
Speaker 3:We got a sitter for the weekend we got a sitter.
Speaker 1:Girl weekend Designated weekend. Girl's weekend Designated sitter. Huh, that's hilarious, damn.
Speaker 3:Well, Johnny couldn't be here today because he's handling Daddy Biz.
Speaker 1:My guy, how are you?
Speaker 2:Yes, he's handling Daddy Business on Daddy Weekend.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Daddy Week, daddy Week.
Speaker 1:Daddy Week.
Speaker 3:You've been holding it down, holding it down like always, but we're going to hold you down today, johnny Yep, we got you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm saying I got you See, I fill in for you. You see what I'm saying. I'm your stunt double.
Speaker 2:Correct, you guys look exactly alike.
Speaker 1:You're Dominican, I'm Jamaican. You know, it's all good, it's all the same thing, you know.
Speaker 3:So today's episode is going to be all about the fathers, all about the daddies.
Speaker 2:The daddies, not the daddies.
Speaker 1:Not the zaddies or the daddies.
Speaker 3:No, the actual daddies. The actual daddies. Some may be zaddies too, you know, zaddies.
Speaker 2:She got her zaddy hair.
Speaker 1:That's what they say.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it's so special, in fact, that Amir brought his dad here today.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's so nice. Yeah, it's nice to meet you, sir. Definitely nice to meet you. We got a head nod and he's Caribbean too, Let me get this from. It's all good, and he's Caribbean too, so you already know that's right. You got to know the vibes man. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So Father's, so father's day. Yes, what are your father's day plans? My father's day plans? Honestly, this year I didn't, um, I didn't make any father's day plans per se. I think it was like a father's day weekend, right? So we it's like starting father's day like a like a whole three-day weekend. Okay, so we're so we're gonna miss the crowd instead of Sunday going to go do something, probably do something like Friday night. Well, tonight, yeah, yeah. And then Saturday, I got soccer. I got soccer Back to that old crew, I got soccer and a barbecue.
Speaker 1:So my son's playing in Brooklyn yeah, solomon, you know he's playing in Brooklyn and actually and on Father's Day, so guess what? They made a game on Father's Day. So I was like yo, how come that happened? It was like, well, the fathers didn't protest. I'm like damn.
Speaker 3:And the dads really love the sports, so they do.
Speaker 1:I'm just happy that is. Yeah. So it was like 9.30 game, so it was all good. So we had the rest of the day, but I really have. I think for me, dad's day his father's day is going to be just around my family and with the kids, and just doing that I heard Jim Jones say something. He said something me something. He has a new word, he said when they ask you what you want for Father's Day, he said I want me something, like buy me something. He said fellas, I got something for you. So he said when she asked you, he said I want me something too. I want me something. I want me a Gucci, I want me something. No shame, that's a new word that will probably be in the urban dictionary. Just give me your credit card. Thank you, jim Jones. He didn't say my credit card, he said your credit card.
Speaker 2:Your credit card, so he can have me some.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I got you a little something you know. Now I'm saying I appreciate you. So what are you guys doing for Father's Day?
Speaker 2:Well, I have nothing.
Speaker 3:Well, I'm going to be celebrating the father in my life and, you know, the bonus dad to my children.
Speaker 1:Amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and my dad is in heaven, yeah rest in peace. So I don't know, remembering my dad, all the good times we had.
Speaker 1:Amazing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm not celebrating.
Speaker 1:No, okay.
Speaker 2:No, let me not be an asshole.
Speaker 3:I love Jax not. Let me not be a asshole let me not be an asshole.
Speaker 2:No, I, I will. I will be a good girl and I will celebrate father's father's day got you faja faja, I got you all had our good moments. Yeah, for sure absolutely, and you know my kids are very grateful and I'm grateful.
Speaker 1:So so you know what I always wanted. What does Father's Day mean? To like a child Like do you guys ever ask that? Because I know I asked my kids that and they were like I don't know.
Speaker 2:I think that's a really good question. I think that, like both things, like I don't think they know what Father's Day or Mother's Day means.
Speaker 3:I think, so too, I think my kids know what mother's day is, especially my little one, because you know she's super clingy to me. If she could celebrate me every day, she would. Yeah, you know, that's my tale. So father's day, I guess it's for them. Maybe now that they're younger they don't really understand, but when you're older you will. Yeah, you know, like when I was young I didn't want to hang out with my dad, but as I got older and I had kids, I wanted to be with him all the time. Yeah, I used to enjoy my time with my dad. He was funny. We used to go shopping together, okay, that's why you have an addiction.
Speaker 2:That's why you have an addiction.
Speaker 3:A little bit, shopping A little bit.
Speaker 1:And you know.
Speaker 3:I also got from my dad.
Speaker 1:So her father created her addiction.
Speaker 3:He did, and also my father was was photogenic, oh like you. And he loved to take pictures. We used to go places and he'd be like take a picture of me.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's where I got it, that's you Take a picture of me. If we need to get her a t-shirt, that's us take a picture of you.
Speaker 1:No, for sure, For sure.
Speaker 2:Don't worry, I'm going to get it For sure.
Speaker 1:I. I think that's what Father's Day for me is the same. I mean, my dad's around and he's one of them guys. That's just like Father's Day is Father's Day. If you give me something, you give me something. That's meaning get him something.
Speaker 2:That means you better. Yeah, that means you better.
Speaker 1:And also, too, he just does what he do regularly. You know what I'm saying. He's Jamaican, he probably smoke some weed and, you know, probably go to some dance. Nah, there's always some fathers they dance. They got some Jamaican really. Yeah, these older individuals, they be out. He put on them sandals or them mandals, got his toes out, put on the linen short sets, you know what I mean? Got the nice haircut.
Speaker 3:He's outside, you're going to be like that when you get older.
Speaker 1:I think I might be, but at this moment I'm not, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2:Can we not do the mandals though?
Speaker 1:Yo, I was no, that's not a rose on. Birkenstocks, though With linen pants, jax, I'm definitely not wearing the sandals with my toes out. I'm sorry, I mean I don't have. I don't have bad feet for a father, but uh, but uh, I don't think I'll be. I think I'll be too vulnerable with my feet out. I think I feel like that.
Speaker 3:Well, on vacation, you're not gonna wear sandals with socks, right.
Speaker 1:I'm definitely not doing that, okay, no, maybe if I had my Yeezys on.
Speaker 3:Okay, that's different.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 3:That's different.
Speaker 1:But outside of that. But I mean I mean it's good though with fathers. I mean nowadays, I think fathers are becoming, it's become a talk of the town. I don't know if it's like a trend, but people was like, oh, you know, fathers need to be, you know, celebrated too.
Speaker 2:So no, of course no. I think that that's fair.
Speaker 1:Good fathers, good fathers Right.
Speaker 2:Correct. Active fathers is the key. Yes, yes.
Speaker 3:So what do men want for Father's Day? I did a little poll, so let's start off with you.
Speaker 1:What's the poll?
Speaker 3:What do men want for Father's Day?
Speaker 1:Listen, I mean it's probably a plethora of things.
Speaker 3:Yeah, one probably is number one at the top is probably some peace. Okay, well, that was on my list.
Speaker 1:That was probably number one, yeah.
Speaker 2:Some peace and quiet, some peace and quiet, okay.
Speaker 1:But I'm going to think that you get peace and quiet.
Speaker 2:That means don't talk, no shit, yeah, that day, oh yeah that day.
Speaker 3:Don't ask me for nothing.
Speaker 1:Damn what. I mean gifts. I mean fathers like gifts too. I mean we'd be the ones buying them all. I mean, why can't fathers get gifts as well?
Speaker 3:Agreed.
Speaker 1:I mean, I'm not mad at that, you know, you know you come in. I'm like hey, you know what I thought about you this much that I bought you this. Really, I think that's a-.
Speaker 2:He's getting ready for his surprise face, really.
Speaker 1:For me. No, I'm just saying that's the thing he already got his gift.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, okay, so you know, and yeah, it was so vain, I can't even stand her, but nevertheless, I think fathers love. I mean they will love gifts, man, I think anything that I think you put effort to for a father that you say yo, I think anything that I think you put effort to for a father that you say yo, I think. Here you go. I was thinking about you, I think fathers, because some of us are not as picky as you think and sometimes it's just more of like yo, you know, I was thinking about you and that will do it to me.
Speaker 3:I think that's fair. Yeah, I saw this and thought about you.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, and sometimes it could just be a phone call, like my oldest. You know she's a serial, not buying me anything. Yeah, I'm talking about you, niajia, you know what I'm saying. But what she does, though, she does because she's in college, clearly, but she does pick up the phone and call.
Speaker 1:No, that's important and that right there for me for that day, that's important. And that right there for me for that day, that's more than I need. So just to tell me that she loves me and she was thinking about me. So I think that's cool. What's on the pole? Some?
Speaker 3:of the other ones were. Well, that a thoughtful gift, appreciation Okay.
Speaker 1:Appreciation yeah.
Speaker 3:Let them know.
Speaker 1:You like them lights. You like them lights. The hard work doesn't go down to this roof. You like this roof. You like them clothes and damn Jordans you got just to relax yes, peace barbecue with friends nah man.
Speaker 3:I guess that means guy friends, only girls not invited nah, we want the vibes.
Speaker 2:I mean no no, listen, who's?
Speaker 1:gonna cook the food we still want the vibes. We still want our ladies to be around a lot of dudes, you know. I still want my woman around.
Speaker 3:Okay, aw.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's not just me, it's for real, because we're the fun ones.
Speaker 3:That's why True.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay, you guys are the fun police. Y'all aren't the only fun ones.
Speaker 2:Hey, good whiskey.
Speaker 1:You, mm-hmm. Oh, jax, you be surprising me, man.
Speaker 3:I love whiskey. She loves that Tennessee whiskey, the Honey Jack. Yeah, my Jack, a Honey Jack straight up, jax is. Yeah, jax, with the Honey Jack.
Speaker 1:She's a cowgirl.
Speaker 3:Oh she really is.
Speaker 1:Oh interesting.
Speaker 3:That's me. Okay, interesting, that's me. I love that, what else? Massage with a happy ending? Oh okay, oh yeah, this was on the poll on the parents uncut IGs.
Speaker 1:Oh yes, you got real people answers yeah, you guys said it, you guys said it, hold up. Okay, so is this man single or married or, you know, in a relationship?
Speaker 3:I have to see who responded that oh we got to go back to the tail of the tape. He's a father, so that's all that matters. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:So okay, so you're hypothetically, your guy goes to a massage parlor right. I'm hoping that he's requesting this from his woman's not gonna be in chinatown, okay, and he calls you and go hey, you know, you go. You know, after the massage and you call him. He's like how was it? He's like it was cool, but something interesting happened and you're like what happened?
Speaker 2:like well, you didn't punch her in the face? That's gonna be my first question. You didn't punch her in the face and you let it happen.
Speaker 3:Well, you know, you know she kind of like handled me, uh uh no no, how much of a tip you gave her well, I mean because it was on the poll.
Speaker 1:No, I'm fighting where'd you go well, because it was on the poll. I'm just saying like, is that, is that? Is that I want to know, man, who, who?
Speaker 3:please in the comments. Maybe that's from his wife.
Speaker 1:A massage from a happy ending.
Speaker 3:Maybe that's from his wife, maybe.
Speaker 1:You know, Okay.
Speaker 2:He didn't want to put in no work, she got to do it all. Yeah, okay.
Speaker 3:All right, we're going to go with that one. We're going to go with that one. We're going to Go fishing.
Speaker 1:Go fishing yeah.
Speaker 3:Be left alone.
Speaker 1:Yeah, peace. And the remote yeah, so I'm not. Yeah, I'm not going to. I get that, but I'm not. The remote thing is not a part for me. Yeah, because I hardly watch. I only watch television with you.
Speaker 3:Oh, so that's so that you like Perfect Match yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, perfect Match. I like Perfect Match. It's pretty cool. Have you ever watched Naked and Afraid? I've watched Naked and Afraid, but I think when it first started. But I haven't. I'm not really. I'm obsessed right now. So I've, you know. But for me personally the remote thing is not mine. But I know some fathers. They come home from work. You know your mom makes sure certain things there.
Speaker 3:They don't want to watch Bridgerton, they want to watch Correct.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they want to watch sports or some action movie.
Speaker 3:Not a rom-com. Huh, not a rom-com.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm not really with the rom-com stuff.
Speaker 2:Most men are not. Huh, most men are not. It keeps falling.
Speaker 1:I'm not really with the rom-com stuff Me personally. I'll watch it because some amazing person asked me to do instead of, and I'll stomach it. But some rom-coms are cool, some rom-coms are not.
Speaker 2:On Father's Day, I'm not watching a rom-com, no no, no, no, you guys got to get the action movies.
Speaker 1:Yeah, something Rocky. Yeah, it's funny. We went to the movie to see Bad Boys. What is it like, 17?
Speaker 2:I don't know how yeah, no, it was like four okay, bad Boys 4 right, it's not like Fast and Furious.
Speaker 1:It was so good yo, we went and did the 4D movie dinner. Listen to me not only, not only did I got whiplash right, but I don't want to see another movie if it's not in that 4D.
Speaker 2:I want to put you guys, I need to put a 4D. Oh, it ruined. You guys, I need to put it.
Speaker 3:felt like we were at Universal Studios.
Speaker 1:I need to put 4D by us, deer Park, deer Park Regal. I'm going to put that in the new house. I'm going to get at least four chairs that do all that.
Speaker 3:It throws water at you. It throws water at you. What?
Speaker 2:You feel like you're going to hit the movie night. It was so cool it was amazing man.
Speaker 1:I think that's.
Speaker 2:Just leave the key for me. No, that's the thing.
Speaker 1:I mean, I've done it before, but because it was Bad Boys, it was an amazing Because it was our action, so it was just moving. Even the beginning it was a roller coaster and it had you moving like you were in a roller coaster. It was pretty cool, I love. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So all fathers, you need you know, don't go to a regular movie theater. If you're going to a movie theater, it's a father's day. Go to a 4D.
Speaker 3:Let them pay that extra money, yeah, that extra $5, $10.
Speaker 2:Let's go yeah, she could do it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she can, you're worth it, king.
Speaker 2:Now you're worth it, that's right.
Speaker 1:You're worth that.
Speaker 3:It might be more in the city.
Speaker 1:For one. Listen, this is 2024.
Speaker 2:Listen, when you go to the movies now you're paying like $150. Nah, for sure, With snacks and everything. That's why I make it recent.
Speaker 1:That's why you go to the 99 cent store. You know what I'm saying. Bring out a bag.
Speaker 2:Oh, you're right, actually you know what I'm saying, what you want, I got it, the I got it the boxes of candy.
Speaker 1:I know people that take chicken in there Like fried chicken. Oh see, see, I didn't know you did that.
Speaker 2:Drex, listen, why are you going to pay for it? Oh, I didn't know.
Speaker 1:No, I mean like, and I'm saying that's what's up.
Speaker 3:Everybody is in there like yo pass me a wing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they're like yo why it smells like chicken hand? Because we got chicken you want some.
Speaker 2:I used to go to Domino's and get like the cheesy bread. See, sneak that shit in. You know, what I'm saying Y'all not searching me.
Speaker 3:See, you're not going to the hood. That's what I check in your bag.
Speaker 1:No, exactly so, fathers, they don't know. If you want to save some money for you, for not to buy it. Go to Dollar Tree, I'm a dollar tree.
Speaker 3:So what, Amir's dad, since you're here today?
Speaker 1:Amir's dad, oh Amir's dad.
Speaker 2:What do you?
Speaker 3:want for Father's Day. Exactly what I got right now. Quality time, quality time.
Speaker 2:That's amazing man Hanging out. I like that. That's nice, that's very sweet.
Speaker 1:That's amazing.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that is I like that. What's your fondest memory with your dad, with your dads?
Speaker 2:Like my dad. With my dad it was always, I remember Friday nights, him and my mom getting ready to go to the Copa. Oh, that's fire my dad would be music blasted always salsa right In the living room with the ironing board oh wow, ironing his shirts and his pants.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's fire.
Speaker 2:Dancing. He was always dancing with my mom. So that and another very, really like fun memory that I have was every summer they would dig a pit in the backyard. We would open also the neighbors to our sides. We were very, very close with them. They used to open up the gates. They should literally take them off.
Speaker 3:Oh, my God.
Speaker 2:Open up the three yards. My dad would dig a pit in the back of our yard and roast the pig.
Speaker 1:Oh fire.
Speaker 2:Wow, and everybody would make all the stuff and we would just have like a big ass party that would last, I swear to you, like two.
Speaker 1:I would just have the sides, but yeah, the pig, I mean they had chicken and stuff.
Speaker 3:But you know, the pig was the you know the pig. That's our thing, I know it's a thing.
Speaker 1:I love that dog that. Benita, that Cuero you know the fact that your father was. You know. You remember your father dancing and getting ready to go cut a rug. It's fire I can imagine had a taco meat out. You know what I mean? Yes, exactly, I love it.
Speaker 3:Oh my God, that's fire. How about you?
Speaker 1:Father's memory of my father, let me see. I'm sure you have a lot yeah yeah, yeah, I mean, my dad's an interesting person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, my dad's an interesting person. So my father, so on Friday nights, my dad, he used to come home super late and at 12 o'clock he used to get there like 1130 and tell us all to get ready. Like where are we going? We'll go to City Island.
Speaker 3:So I'm like, oh well, where?
Speaker 1:are we going to City Island for? And he was like yo, we're just to go eat and then we'll go drive to go to Sammy's. This is not an ad.
Speaker 2:Sammy's Fish Box? Yeah, Sammy's.
Speaker 1:Fish Box and sit down and eat with the family, and that was a thing that he did like once, once a month. So, and that was something I always looked forward to as a kid at 11 30, my mother would say, go throw some clothes, I know exactly where we're going, and um, that, that's like a though that memory kind of like stayed with me because it was something that we were all together and, um, that was like the one time that, you know, there was like no issues, it was, it was all just laughter. So definitely I remember that that's, that's dope.
Speaker 3:What about you. For me, it was going to the Aqueduct Flea Market on Sundays with my dad when I was a young teenager. Wow, we used to go there for everything. We had everything back in the day. Did you ever go?
Speaker 1:No, I never gone, but I might have gone. People used to come in like shuttle buses.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I remember. Actually, I've only been like once.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I used buses. Yeah, I used to go all the time. And also I feel like my dad growing up. You know he was very unemotional, he was always working, but once he became a grandfather he was very active in my kid's life so just you know, coming him coming home from work, and my little one used to go sit on his lap and he used to feed her before he fed himself his food, you know so I have a whole bunch of videos and those you know. I told I show them.
Speaker 1:That's amazing.
Speaker 3:You know, keep that memory alive.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean, that's those are. I mean, those memories are going to last a long time you know, a lifetime and then your daughter's going to remember those, you know.
Speaker 2:She's definitely going to remember those.
Speaker 1:Those are actually, those are the moments that mean the most. Yeah, Especially to kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Because that's what I said, Like I remember that night we just going out and just there was no care in the world but that.
Speaker 3:It's experiences. For sure those are the things that I think people should put more into with their kids, instead of buying them things, making experiences and lasting memories.
Speaker 1:That's what I'm doing, my best to incorporate with my kids. So you know clearly we didn't grow up in this time. Right In 2024, we got everything that can distract you known to man, but you know it's creating these experiences, Like you know, going to the beach. We went to the beach and I took, like all the kids right. Like, not like all of them.
Speaker 3:It's like a daddy's DM.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I had all the kids I had two girls and three boys. Right, that's so much fun. Yeah, we went, but and nobody had was on their phones, everybody was just in the moment, in nature. You know what I'm saying. We had a good time, man, and you know they understood that time and I saw that they appreciated that time too, and that moment to the point that I got to ask again, like, when are we going back to the beach? I'm like, oh yeah, I want to go back to the beach. Or you know, when are we doing? You know, when are we taking our next road trip? Those things they look forward to that. I didn't think they was going to look forward to that because you know they in the car arguing with each other, or this is that, or whatever, or sleeping, but they really look forward to that stuff, man, I'm looking forward to having more of those moments.
Speaker 3:I love that. Yeah, that's sweet. I love road trips now, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I hate them.
Speaker 3:Just gotta Just have a lot of snacks on hand.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, A lot of chicken.
Speaker 3:And headphones.
Speaker 1:And chicken.
Speaker 3:Everybody, make sure you have headphones, headphones.
Speaker 1:And make sure you bring some chicken.
Speaker 2:Yes, and cookies.
Speaker 1:And cookies right.
Speaker 2:Chicken nuggets and cookies.
Speaker 1:Okay, and hide your cookies these are my cookies, okay. So I think, one father, I think, have you, have you ever seen like other countries celebrate Father's Day?
Speaker 2:That's a good question.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've only seen it in America for me, I don't know if it's some reason.
Speaker 3:How about in your country? Okay, okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's not as big as. Mother's Day. That's like Canada, it's like you know, I've seen but that's what I'm saying Like I don't see, like when it's Mother's Day in other parts of the country. Yeah, when you see in other parts of the country, even in this country, you'll see other parts of other countries in, like your feed when it's Father's Day. It is like it's Father's.
Speaker 3:Day. You know, I asked my super. I worked today. I was just like what are you doing for Father's Day? He's like when's Father's Day? I'm like what do you mean? Father's Day is this Sunday.
Speaker 2:I'm not going to lie, I did forget.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean it's, as you can see they don't run ads for us.
Speaker 2:I'm like, hey, for your father's day, here it comes here. Good, I told you I have to go to a soccer game on father's day morning. My instagram feed is definitely about like here, by this, by this, by this, for sure for fathers. So I could see that. But like on tv, like, oh yeah, we're definitely not it's, it's not as big.
Speaker 1:I mean, I I didn't. Clearly we, we understand it. You know, we definitely do um, but you know, I think, but I think it's definitely we should celebrate, as you guys say, the active fathers.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes.
Speaker 1:Because there's not a lot of not saying not a lot. They don't showcase those fathers as much I agree.
Speaker 2:They more I think they shed light on the ones that don't are not as active Because it's always more to talk about when it's a problem.
Speaker 1:Yeah, because don't you see that? And I think that's a problem in our society now too? I agree, we talk about all the bad things, but don't hyper focus on the positive things that are happening. Especially nowadays, there's a lot of good. I'm surrounded by a lot of good fathers man, actually great fathers. Shout out to all you guys To the point that I'm a part of this organization called Cool Dads. Yeah, so Cool Dads is about cool fathers and just giving parents tools to, because there's no manuscript with being a father or a mother. So it's Cool Dads. And shout out to Kevin, he's creating something called cool moms as well. So it's about like giving you like a manuscript and having a network of people that, as if you're a new parent that you can have a conversation with, because, think about it, like when you're a new parent, you don't really. Yeah, you can talk to your parents, but how am I? You know, when I used to do this I did this when you were younger that sometimes doesn't work now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's when you were younger, that was like 40 years ago. Yeah, that was when you were younger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so now so with Cool Dads. It's an organization that's giving fathers an opportunity to kind of network with other good fathers. Then it's also they do events so that you're also there to also network. So let's just say you're a plumber and this person needs something or this or that. So now you create a whole like a whole networking line for the next, you know, for what you want as a dad, and it's definitely dope. These kind of organizations are needed.
Speaker 2:How do you, how does one go about joining?
Speaker 1:Yeah, so it's. He's currently in. It's currently in houston. He we're coming into um the east coast and he's from new york but he's bringing it back to new york. Um, we're going to be doing some things out there to bring fathers in um, just so they can kind of like see what we, what we're about and it's and it's more structured around you. You know men and their families and we're hyper focused on that and the support of your families. So I think those type of organizations can kind of shed light on what fathers do and mothers, because he's also shedding light on moms as well. He's not just keeping it inclusive on just fathers, he's definitely showing it, especially for the black and brown, it's for everybody. But he's going hyper-focused on the black and brown because they kind of paint a picture of us as deadbeats and he wants to kind of eradicate we would like to eradicate that Showcase those good fathers and showcase the ones that are working and it's pretty dope man.
Speaker 1:I'm looking forward to kind of the way we're going to do this in New York City. So if you guys are looking, it's called.
Speaker 2:Cool Dads. I think that's super nice to branch out.
Speaker 1:Yes, for sure.
Speaker 3:And important, especially now that we're in June, it's Men's Mental Health.
Speaker 1:Awareness Month yes.
Speaker 3:Correct and a lot of men don't have that support team behind them.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 3:You as a man you can speak for men, whereas men will hold in their feelings and not want to reach out for help when they're going through personal issues, any life-related stress.
Speaker 1:For sure. But you know there's a reason why For some they feel like one. They don't think they'd be weak. You know you tell somebody like yo, this is what I'm going through, and then all of a sudden you know they use it against you. Right, I think that's a fear of a lot of men. I know I've had that fear as well.
Speaker 1:You know saying how you really feel, you know, opposed to keeping it in and being this strapping man and you know, and make you think that nothing hurt you because you don't want to seem weak to anybody around you and that's also stressful as well. Like have to always be this hyper, you know, masculine always. You know those men sometimes are usually the most softest guys, the ones that are the ones that are supposed to want to be this straight gangster or whatever. They want to become this tough guy. Those are the ones that are really most of the softest ones because they lose their cool the most, because they have to keep up this image. So it's very, very, very hard sometimes. You know this man stuff is interesting, you know. So I know for me it took me a while to kind of like tap into my feelings and then, once I did that. It kind of like opened up like another At first I hated it Okay.
Speaker 3:Being vulnerable and then once I did that, it kind of like opened up like another.
Speaker 1:At first I hated it. Okay, being vulnerable? Yeah, because vulnerability tends it makes you become like mushy and soft and you don't want to be looked at a certain type of way. And then I grew up in an era that you had to be tough.
Speaker 3:But then that's the stigma. That it makes you feel that that it makes you look that way.
Speaker 2:Because when you're growing up, right so it's always hard for people to understand how I'm raising four boys right and then to tell me oh, they need, you know, a man to teach them how to be a man.
Speaker 2:Yes, however, they also need to be emotional, in a sense where they have to have emotional intelligence, things that like if I have a man in their life that is not emotionally intelligent, they're only going to keep repeating this cycle of you know, man up, you don't. Men don't cry. You know men, men don't act like girls, men don't you know like. And while some of that is it does show some type of strength, it also it shows a ton of weakness. I find vulnerability, vulnerability. I can't even speak. I find that to be a strength.
Speaker 1:Yes, so the era I grew up in so I'm an 80s baby grew up in the 90s, right so, but the era I grew up in I had to be tough. Yes, right, I didn't. I can't show weakness. You know what I'm saying. If I got beat up, I got sent out to go fight again until I win, right, didn't we all bro? Yeah, so I.
Speaker 1:But now, but you said like emotional intelligence, everybody thinks that. I think it's a different meaning for a lot, for a lot of different people. You know, because because a lot of I've been hearing that word a lot emotional intelligence and most people don't. I didn't know what it was at first, but it was more so like compartmentalizing your feelings, right and understanding where it is. And I think sometimes that's hard like for most men especially that comes from different environments, like tough environments to really like open up and that vulnerability. They don't want to seem as weak.
Speaker 1:And I think at first I'm not saying I saw crying as weak, but because crying you need to cry and you know I've cried the most in the last several, you know, couple years and I've cried ever. But it has opened me up to be able to kind of let some of those feelings in and being able to kind of let some of those feelings in and um, being able to kind of express that. That's, and that's probably been, has been the hardest thing, is like expressing your feelings to somebody outside of a therapist, but somebody that you care or love, and you tell them and then a fear of it being thrown back at you. Right, that's, I think that's a lot of fear from a lot of men, cause you heard Shaq said it, you hear what Shaq said. No, shaq said that's why he doesn't tell women his feelings, because he said they use it against.
Speaker 2:And I don't know if he feels that right now, but that clip came out and it does make sense, because while we talk about how men don't have a lot of emotional intelligence, there's a lot of women out there that don't either. There's a lot of women out there that are super judgmental oh he's a bitch, he's crying. Look at him, look at him being a little bitch. No, actually, why don't you just sit there and try to understand? Because it's all about understanding in those moments as well, because I always tell, like, if my son, if he comes to me and he's super emotional, I'll listen to him and I'll just ask him questions that are really making him think, like why do I have this feeling? What's triggering you know? Why do you feel so strongly about this? Where is this coming from? So those are things that, if you start asking yourself that you start mastering your own feelings, and those are the things that we should probably be teaching our children is mastering your feelings, because, as men, you need to know how to navigate.
Speaker 1:For sure. I think too like I think Charlemagne said it he's like, you know, our parents was only showing us what they knew, and not saying it was right or wrong, but knowing that he was learning some of the wrong things. And so we pass that same trauma down to our kids. And I know, for me I had to kind of like re-engineer how I was teaching my boys, because that was the process of like, hey, you know, men, don't cry.
Speaker 3:You know you fall, you get Suck it up, Suck it up.
Speaker 1:And it's crazy. So, and it's still in me a little bit, not going to lie, I saw it Sunday. Solomon got hurt on the field and this team that he played, they're very, very masculine team.
Speaker 1:Like very masculine. Even the mothers are like very. You know what I'm saying. And the thing is, once they see that they break the strongest player on the team, they go and then they turn. So I had to.
Speaker 1:He got hurt. So I had to run over there and I told him like yo, don't cry and show these people. If you won't cry, go on the sideline. But on that field you don't cry. And he got to the side by the coach is when he cried and I said it's still in me a little bit because if he let the emotion out there on the field, he got hurt. But I just know the surroundings of where he was at and I ran over there just to make sure. And he heard my voice because when we was, when we, when we left, he was talking to me about it like yo, you know, dad, I heard you. And and he said I also heard coach too, because his coach told him the same thing. So I don't know if that's still in the same vein, but I know that's still a part of me. I'm still working on it, um, because it's it's something I was taught as a kid like I could see it, though man don't cry.
Speaker 2:We were talking about how jasmine is not emotional. She's a rock yeah right, and that comes from being in your masculine all the time, not being able to be in your feminine, because what have you had to do most of your life is be the man be doing what the man is supposed to be doing. But it's true, we were talking about that yesterday and I said I wish I could be as emotional as that.
Speaker 2:Like I feel like I'm a rock sometimes Like like I have no feelings, right, because the you know what would usually make someone want to cry. I'm just like so fight.
Speaker 1:I'm ready to fight. I love Jack. Let's do this. Jack's going to go to her hands, I love it.
Speaker 2:I'm two feet tall, but my inner person is 7'5". And it's a guy.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Speaker 2:There's a guy in here, so I'm always like ready to attack.
Speaker 1:And we can't always be like that. Sometimes I have to, you know, talk myself off the ledge, and or sometimes I have to have someone talk me off the ledge because I'm ready, I'm have to show how to be. Like I don't have to ask her or ask, I can just be the man. If I have to keep telling you that, then maybe I'm not the man right. So there's certain things that I shouldn't have to say to you.
Speaker 1:Like yo, I'm the man, I can do this. No, it's like yo, sit back and relax, I got it, that's it. I don't, I don't got to tell you, I'm the man. You just know. Like yo, that's what it is, and I think, as you, as you tend to start working with somebody that wants to have that energy. I think it breaks those walls down a little bit, especially for women that have to be super masculine because of their situation or whatever that may have been. For me, it's more of just like yo, listen, I'll lead and show you, and when I say lead, meaning like I'm going to take the lead on the things that I know that I need to do like yo, I got it, no worries, okay, cool, and you may.
Speaker 1:You may have been the person that's doing it. I get it, but you weren't one, you were doing it out of necessity. Two, you weren't doing it right because you was either paying too much for it or you could have got it for a different price. And these are the things that you know and these are the things that need to be said Like, and nothing trying to play her. It's just for her to understand like there is opportunities in other ways. Go ahead and be mom, be mom. Let me do the dad thing. I got this.
Speaker 2:I told her. I was like, don't worry, You're about to be in your soft era and you're going to get real emotional.
Speaker 1:But you know what that's? Maybe something that she needs.
Speaker 2:She does.
Speaker 1:And women that are like her. I've seen them become very much. When they find the right partner. They especially a man that wants to be, you know, you know, husband, father, everything, or whatever it, whatever the their situation may call for, it then changes the person and you know, then that's all that softy let's bring this back to the men's Men's mental health.
Speaker 2:She's like I'm done, I'm done with this. Well, I'll be in men's mental health.
Speaker 1:What's up?
Speaker 3:Men's mental health.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'm in the mommy right now yeah.
Speaker 3:So I went to a funeral yesterday Okay, For a friend, one of my nephew's best friends where he was murdered by his brother.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:And his brother committed suicide. Yeah, murdered by his brother. Yeah, and his brother committed suicide. Yeah. So you know everybody's asking like, how did this happen? How could this happen? He was a father like his brother. The one who killed him and then committed suicide was 33 years old, married and a father of three. So you know, everybody's assuming different things, but nobody knows what he was going to, what led to that right. So that's why it's important for men to seek help when they're going through these, when they're having these thoughts, and not to feel embarrassed, judged or embarrassed because in a snap of a finger, you're acting out of rage or whatever it is, and you change your life. Your life is over. You're ruining your family's life because now they lost the parents, lost both their sons.
Speaker 2:Right Making permanent decisions off of temporary feelings.
Speaker 1:Yeah, but also, too see, it's also pressure. Yeah, but also, too see it's also pressure. So like being a husband, being a husband then being, you know, a father of three and I don't know their particular situation, but you know the pressure for some men, you know they don't know how to you know, after a while it becomes it's like you're living up to something that you yourself don't know if you can really deal with it. So you have to find that emotional intelligence to really say I need to seek help.
Speaker 2:And that's where I think sometimes we lack, like we need to seek help, and also having a woman right and I'm not, you know, no shade shade to her at all. I don't know this situation but making your husband feel comfortable enough to come to you and that he can open up to you, and if you cannot help him, you are pushing him to seek the help that he needs. For sure, because it could be an argument today, but that shit will build up and build up, and build up.
Speaker 1:You don't know what's happening inside that mind for sure, and it could be some, what, just one thing that pushes you over to that time. So you know, see what you know. You know they say mental health and health in general too. It's just it all play, it all goes hand in hand. So it just depends on what. What it is, yeah, you know, and at the end of the day is just making sure that those things are taken care of, and it's very tough for some people even even to have a conversation with somebody right, that's difficult and then um.
Speaker 2:So we do have some statistics um on mental health and men. What's going on here? And so nearly one in 10 men experience some form of depression or anxiety. About 10% of patients with bulimia or anorexia are men. Oh wow, which is wild that's crazy. Because they're competing as well. Yep Over 6 million men suffer from depression. 3 million men in the US have panic disorder, agoraphobia or any other phobiaobia, and 90 of those who are diagnosed with schizophrenia.
Speaker 1:3.5 million people in the us are men wow, well, I mean, I can talk about the um, the aspect of not being, not being schizophrenic, that's. That's just interesting. But as far as having panic attacks, for sure, yeah, yeah yeah, I've, I can.
Speaker 1:I can definitely empathize with that um, especially when the pressure started to come and it's almost like not just the pressures coming, but then you're like yo, this is about to be my life, and then thinking that you're having a heart attack, and then going to go to the hospital, and they're like yo, you, you know, um, you know you had a panic attack. Yeah, no, it's like yo, you know you want a xanax.
Speaker 2:I'm like no, and it's not about always medication yeah, they came, they came at last.
Speaker 1:He was like I'm gonna give you a low dose of it. He said but we want to keep you, just to make sure. But he was like yo, you had a bad panic attack and I, as a man, you're like. You know, I ain't trying to tell nobody this, but it was definitely. I can definitely empathize with that because I definitely experienced that for sure.
Speaker 2:Men are less likely than women to seek professional help, because of that because of the you know embarrassment and the feeling like you know they're going to be judged. Men are less likely to speak to friends and family about their struggles due to the stigma.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, because they people tend to take what you tell them and use it against you. Like that's, you know, if I come to you and tell you like this is my issue and this is what I'm going through, and then like, like, like, for instance, like some Caribbean people, you talk to your peoples about it. Then your aunties is having a whole conversation, like yo, your kian oh, you know what I'm saying. Kian paying bills. I'm like whoa, I didn't tell you that.
Speaker 3:I told her that how.
Speaker 1:Everybody's having a conversation about your situation and you know they're throwing. You know like everybody's throwing stones at a glass house. You know what I'm saying? The crazy part about this is they don't even look at themselves. Yep, so I can understand that, Like you're telling somebody something in good faith and trying to get back some information to help you, but then they're using that to their advantage to kind of like, put you down.
Speaker 2:That's terrible man, that's a tough one.
Speaker 1:That's a really, really tough one.
Speaker 2:Men often express signs of struggle differently than what is portrayed as the norm and therefore are more likely to be misdiagnosed or dismissed. And that's, like you know, because you don't want to really say what's going on.
Speaker 1:So they're going to be like you're fine. Yes, for sure.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women. For sure, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they said we lead. They said men lead it for right now. So it's not a statistic the other day. We lead it because of the pressure, and you know, I think too it's also the pressure to try to keep up. That's how I feel. So if your neighbor next to you just bought a new Bentley and this and his wife and everybody is buying Birkin bags, and then you're in your house and your wife comes in and she's looking at what they got going on, and then she's like, and I'm not saying this is all people, but what I'm saying is that and then she says to you something like something just real casual, like man, why can't we do something like that?
Speaker 2:Right. Why don't we have a Bentley?
Speaker 1:And he goes. He she may not mean it in a way like when watching them.
Speaker 1:Right, but like babe, we can do that too. He may take it as she wants that life, because then you know most as men we live in a competitive like listen, being a man is competitive, competing Because somebody else wants what you got, and this is just a fact, like you know. So the woman you have, the life you have, it's just competitive. So at the end of the day, most men they live in that competitive state, which sucks, because that means you never really rest, because you always are looking for, because you know somebody's coming for what you got.
Speaker 2:Right, that's kind of crazy. I just feel like this and I will say this for men and women there's too many women out there that have husbands, that have jobs, that make some type of money and y'all worried about the wrong thing the gucci bags and the louis bags and the and all those birkin bags and all those shoes and all those stuff, and you don't even own the house that you live in. So I think back up, understand that your man eventually can get you there, and right now you might not have all of that, but if you are supportive and if you are a real partner to your person, you you can get there, and if you don't, that's okay. Yeah, because I'm not worried about what somebody else has. I gotta figure out how I'm going to get what I want.
Speaker 1:But that's most of the fact on social media. So you figure it's image. It's imagery and what is looked at right. So you figure most people that don't. They don't post it. It didn't happen.
Speaker 2:Man.
Speaker 1:And then they try to go over. They try to go over to try to like, yeah, well, such and such did this for me. Well, it would still be done even if you didn't share it, right? So I think what it is is the imagery people want, you know, to have that, well, I got my person doing this for me and this and that, and majority of the time they ain't doing nothing because that same person that just bought you a bag is beating the crap out of you and you're not saying anything to anybody. And now you know you have a broken bag, with a black eye, and that's not healthy.
Speaker 1:So, you know, I don't subscribe to the aspect of trying to live, you know, somebody else's life. I live the life I live and, honestly, if I'm with a person that understands who I am and I understand who she is, we build together. It's not about the fact of, oh, you know she's looking or he's looking at everybody else. Well, we should have that too. Well, what if that wasn't called for us? But you know, nowadays it's all about that imagery, it's all about what people want to be other people's lives, and that's why social media thrives, yep, especially with mothers and fathers.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's a fact.
Speaker 1:Wow, did you hear? Hold on. Did y'all see this thing? This girl, she was cooking. I don't know if this was an act, I don't know what this was. Probably she was cooking inside. She was cooking inside of her in the kitchen to her new boyfriend. I'm going to go back and live with my baby father and he goes. Why she's like? Because I didn't have to cook when I was with him. So he goes into the kitchen. He's like what he's like? I didn't have to cook, I didn't have to do this, I didn't have to do that and I got to do this all with you. We were eating out all the time that. That's something that's being put out there. So you can imagine the people that are that are looking at at this stuff too. Like yo, if that's. You know what.
Speaker 1:She's right, I shouldn't have to cook, listen right and if you don't want my mom at home to cook no, listen, but no, but listen, though at the end of the day, it clearly, nowadays, 2024 is not 1968, or 1980, or 19, or not even 1990. Listen, I get it, understand, but you adapt to the times. You know what I'm saying and you know what I mean. I'm fortunate enough that my mother put me in the kitchen as a young kid and she was like oh, junior, junior, I'm gonna teach you how to do everything you I do. She said she didn't want to say it like this, but she said the only thing you need a woman for is and she's like, I'm gonna tell and I was like procreate yeah pretty much.
Speaker 1:You know what I'm saying and I was like she said I don't want to say it like that, but she goes that's what I'm, I'm gonna teach you everything and you know. You know I can cook, I can clean, I don't need, I can do. All of that I can do. I am a product of what my mother told me that I'm going to be able to do.
Speaker 3:Amen.
Speaker 1:And then my father taught me how to be a man. So it's cool. So I have the side that I can go, you know, some rice and peas and stew chicken and then go fold my underwear and then, if I got to you know, be the masculine man. So you know, people know not to mess with me, so I'm there.
Speaker 3:Well then, yeah, a little spoiled because I don't cook. So I got my mom to do it, and now she cooks for him.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, oh yeah, she does.
Speaker 3:Oh, for real, I don't cook so.
Speaker 2:I got my mom to do it and now she cooks for him, I cook, oh yeah, she does oh, for real. Okay, it's crazy. She knows. She knows Because I got to feed them.
Speaker 3:So to lighten it up now, yes, you know we're going to do some dad jokes.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 3:Oh God, Do you have any off the top of your head?
Speaker 1:I definitely don't. I wish I knew I would have definitely thought of something.
Speaker 2:I have one.
Speaker 3:Go ahead.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's go, because these are like really like no, they got to be bad, they're so terrible. This is horrible Okay so April showers bring May flowers. But what do May flowers bring?
Speaker 1:Bills.
Speaker 2:Pilgrims.
Speaker 3:Look at this one. I hate my job. All I do is crush cans all day. It's soda pressing.
Speaker 1:It's soda pressing, I like that what else?
Speaker 3:Look, let's see.
Speaker 1:I like the Jim Jones thing. All right, let's see, buy me some.
Speaker 2:That is not a joke.
Speaker 1:It was almost a joke, me some.
Speaker 3:Uh-uh, I guess that's it then.
Speaker 2:Okay, I have one more, One more, one more. Okay. What do you call a fake noodle?
Speaker 1:An impasta, all right, I'm about to say it. Well, that an impasta, I know what I'm saying. Well, that one's kind of good. I like that, yeah, I like that one.
Speaker 3:You know that one yeah. I like that one.
Speaker 2:I've heard it before, so I knew somebody had to know it well.
Speaker 3:Thank you for joining us as a guest host.
Speaker 1:Oh, thank you thank you for having me, man.
Speaker 3:Like you know, it's amazing we look forward to seeing what's next for you ah, you know, this is amazing we look forward to seeing what's next for you.
Speaker 1:Ah, you know, life is good. Well, since that, we're going to do that. I'm going to talk about my listen. Hey, so I'm working for this new company, Cause this is going to come out after we make the announcement. It's called Astrum. They are a amazing product line. They're rolling out a bunch of products, so I am an associate partner with them, so we're going to be rolling out a lot of products and actually I'm going to actually, you know, have you guys, you know, run ads on on the pod?
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Because you know, you guys, you know, are my family, so I'm definitely going to. I'm excited for this opportunity and this is going to be things. So this is, you know, the first one. Well, not, this is one of them. They're very sleek, it's like it's metal, it's not like, you know, the iPod joints, and they go with everything android and iphone.
Speaker 3:Definitely cool, you know terrence.
Speaker 1:What's up? I appreciate you shout out to t yeah and um. We definitely are going to be doing a major push in the us, so it's pretty dope. So I'm looking forward to um having a lot more pods uh, you know, promoted um there's. You're gonna see the line, the product line, because I'm going to give you guys some product as well, and then we'll be running ads on Parents Uncut.
Speaker 3:So thank you guys for having me well. Thank you, yes, and happy Father's.
Speaker 1:Day. Happy Father's Day. Happy Father's Day everyone. All of the daddies, peace bye.